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Homie law 9 section 69 

This is the law that forbids that any arguement lasts for over 10 minutes, if said time is reached; due to the laws of the homie, all the parties and partakers within the arguement must resolve it with homosexual intercourse. The one who finishes first shall be the one who was wrong within the argument. Homie law 4, section 420 also backs up this statement.
"My homies got in an arguement, so we had to resolve it using Homie law 9 section 69. Turns out that Elliot was wrong."

Newton's 69th Law 

A scientific law formulated by Sir Isaac Newton telling the likelyhood of a female having sexual relations with a male, as expressed in the equation:

100{2*lM(d^2)l/(v-S)}/G

where:
M= Muscle definition
d= douchebagness
v= Moral Values
S= slut value
G=Girl's hotness
Jon: Do you think Ashley will fuck Michael tonight?
Matt: No, he's not enough of a douchebag, so it does not satisfy Newton's 69th Law.