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National grab my ass and I'll break your hand day 

It's the same day as "national grab ass day", which someone defined as April 11th.
Basically if a guy grabs ass without consent, he's asking to get his hand broken.
boy who grabs my ass: I can do that because UD says it's national grab ass day

me, after I break his hand : and I broke your hand because it's also National grab my ass and I'll break your hand day

my dick died can i bury it in your ass? 

A retorical question directed usually towards woman, but in some cases asked male to male. meaning that you want to sodomize someone.
jim: hey baby, my dick died can i bury it in your ass?

random woman: no!

jim: please?

random woman: ...fine.

splish splash I be eating yo ass

This can be used when or while eating someone's or your ass in the bath, shower, or pool. You can sing this while eating or being eaten.
Hey wanna splish splash eat my ass?
Splish splash I be eating yo ass!!

Put my furniture back before I beat yo ass 

1. An expression a parent, guardian, or friend uses to tell another person to put down their furniture or there will be consequences

2. An expression people yell when somebody tries to hit them with their own furniture
1. John: *sees his child using a chair to charge at his older brother*
"Put my furniture back before I beat yo ass!!"

Child: Ok.

2. Fred: What do you have in your hand?

Justin: A treasure chest.

Fred: And what were you about to do with that treasure chest?
Justin: Hit you with it.

Fred: You know what you can do with that treasure chest?
Justin: What?
Fred: Nothing! Now put my furniture back before I beat yo ass!!!

fuck me in the ass if i'm wrong but

Interjection to say when you are about to say something that you are a 100% right about
Fuck me in the ass if i'm wrong but Juanjo is a manwhore
Fuck me in the ass if I'm wrong but Sabrina Carpenter is coworker music

fuck me in the ass because i love jesus 

Your man is un-pleased with you, but you dont want to lose your virginity till marriage. So the best song ever was created Named "Fuck me in the ass because i love Jesus"
DID YOU HEAR SAMANTHA GOT FUCKED IN THE ASS BC SHE LOVES JESUS???
Fuck me in the ass because i love Jesus: You low key a hoe but still want to be loved