29 definitions by tuftskins

1) A hot chick. Very similar to eye candy, the terms can be interchangeable. But if a girl is penis candy, guys want to do more than just look at her.

2) A girl capable of causing an instant erection.

3) Viagra or similar pills.
"Check out Megan, she's sooo hot!"

"Yeah, she's penis candy."

"Viagra is penis candy."

"Don't need no Viagra. Just watching her walk puts a rise in my Levis."
by tuftskins May 2, 2009
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Science supported by made up facts or fudged data. Junk science.

Man-caused Globull Warming and any "scientific studies" touted by late night infomercials are lie-ence.

The practitioners of lie-ence may be called lie-entists to distinguish them from other liars.
Bill: "Wow! This scientific study says Snake Oil will increase the size of my penis!"

Krystin: "Don't be a sucker. That sounds like lie-ence to me."
by tuftskins December 9, 2009
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The Federal Government. The politicians, lawyers, journalists, bureaucrats, lobbyists, and other hangers-on who parade in front of TV cameras, trying to make us think they really matter.

So named due the astounding preponderance of neckties worn by all involved.
Big Bear: "Looks like the Necktie Cult wants to raise taxes again."

Heather: "Mmmm. Good thing we're tax rebels!"
by tuftskins March 23, 2010
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Junk science that claims man can make the earth's temperatures rise. Recently proven to be bunk, based on lies. Gee, we can't make it rain in LA, but we have the power to change the planet's temperatures...riiiiight.

Globull Warming is a con game designed to make a few people rich with scare tactics. It's followers are a cult, and they are now at the Jonestown stage.
It's 5 degrees in Spokane, WA, right now. Fuck Globull Warming!
by tuftskins December 10, 2009
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Differing from a shit and split, a flush and dump is often done out of consideration, or due to turd insecurity.

The action involves expelling a turd at the same time one hits the flush lever on a toilet.

This is done to mask a noisy turd in a public restroom or to quickly get rid of a smelly turd before it renders a bathroom uninhabitable.
Since it was his first time at her house, Andrew courteously performed a flush and dump in Martha's bathroom, vastly improving his chances of scoring that night.
by tuftskins April 30, 2009
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A large mouthed plastic bottle (think Gatorade) used by a trucker in lieu of other facilities. True road kings can use one while holding 65. Some truckers dispose of trucker's toilets by tossing them out the window, and if you keep an eye out, you'll spot these half-full gems along interstates everywhere.
With a wind chill of -40 on Wyoming's I-80, Todd decided to forgo the Rest Area. The trucker's toilet in the heated cab of his Kenworth came in real handy.
by tuftskins December 1, 2009
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A trailer for a movie with heavy use of explosions. The term "explosion trailer" is always preceded by a number indicating the amount of explosions.

Explosion trailers are light on serious dialogue and the audience is sometimes left wondering what the movie is about, other than explosions. The number of fourteen-year old boys who will see the movie increases exponentially with the number of explosions in the trailer.

Usually, a movie with an explosion trailer is not considered Oscar-worthy, unless it is for special effects. For the life of me, I can't recall an explosion trailer featuring Meryl Streep.
After seeing the seven-explosion trailer for Timecop III, all the boys in Ms. Shull's 9th grade homeroom couldn't wait to see it.
by tuftskins May 7, 2009
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