tuftskins's definitions

explosion trailer

A trailer for a movie with heavy use of explosions. The term "explosion trailer" is always preceded by a number indicating the amount of explosions.

Explosion trailers are light on serious dialogue and the audience is sometimes left wondering what the movie is about, other than explosions. The number of fourteen-year old boys who will see the movie increases exponentially with the number of explosions in the trailer.

Usually, a movie with an explosion trailer is not considered Oscar-worthy, unless it is for special effects. For the life of me, I can't recall an explosion trailer featuring Meryl Streep.

After seeing the seven-explosion trailer for Timecop III, all the boys in Ms. Shull's 9th grade homeroom couldn't wait to see it.

by Tuftskins May 6, 2009

flush and dump

Differing from a shit and split, a flush and dump is often done out of consideration, or due to turd insecurity.

The action involves expelling a turd at the same time one hits the flush lever on a toilet.

This is done to mask a noisy turd in a public restroom or to quickly get rid of a smelly turd before it renders a bathroom uninhabitable.

Since it was his first time at her house, Andrew courteously performed a flush and dump in Martha's bathroom, vastly improving his chances of scoring that night.

by Tuftskins April 30, 2009

Shit Santa

Someone who leaves a turd behind in a toilet, usually public. Usually, this "gift" is well wrapped with toilet paper and so large that the toilet cannot be flushed safely.

Like Santa Claus, Shit Santa is legendary and never seen. Unlike Santa Claus, Shit Santa operates 365 days a year, and no one looks forward to his visits.

Don't use that toilet, dude. Shit Santa left a real nasty one.

by Tuftskins April 30, 2009

Teahag

A female leftist reporter who covers TEA parties. Too arrogant to believe free speech applies to anyone but them, these womyn make snide jokes and/or ask pointed derisive questions of exasperated taxpayers exercising their right to assembly. Rumor has it they are just doing what their bosses told them to, after their hiring session on the news network's version of the casting couch.

CNN's Susan Roesgen and M(etro)S(exual)NBC's Rachel Madcow are excellent examples.

MSNBC teahag Rachel Maddow insults protesters in a puerile attempt at infotainment.

by Tuftskins April 20, 2009

Mexican breath mints

Hot Tamales candy or the generic version thereof. Used by stoners to mask the smell of their pot breath, and to alleviate the munchies at the same time.

Bob: Do you think mom will smell the marijuana on my breath?

Mike: I don't know man, better take some Mexican breath mints to be safe.

by Tuftskins May 2, 2009

Biocarpetous

Pertaining to life forms found in carpet.

Floyd's failure to clean up numerous beer spills resulted in biocarpetous mold cultures.

by Tuftskins April 29, 2009

sausage saloon

A bar whose inhabitants are almost entirely male. Sausage saloons differ from gay bars in that the clientele is straight; mostly working stiffs and pensioners enjoying a cold one. Not bad places to hang out, but don't go there looking to score chicks.

Moe's Tavern would be a classic example.

Dan: "Damn, that 90-year old barmaid is the only chick in here!"

Tony: "Yeah, this is a sausage saloon. Let's finish our beers and check out the action at that place down the street."

by tuftskins December 9, 2009