1 definition by trashman1978

Pats

A “Pats” is a swimbait used to catch monster Bass, the original bait was carved from the handle of Thor’s hammer. Pat found Thor’s hammer handle while “shore banging” a lake near Mount Olympus. It is said the person in possession of this original bait is the only person that can create a working pats bait. “Pats” are created by adding holy water to the original during a lunar eclipse and the original can then “re-produce” similar to mogwai. Each reproduction can yield anywhere between 2-7 baits. Patsbaits.com was the first website ever created and it broke the internet. This happened in the year 1832. It took until the 1970’s for the internet to be repaired and put back in use the way we see today and that is why you cannot find pats on the internet. It has been said that there are currently only 3 largemouth bass in existence over 30lbs. Those 3 fish are all waiting for a “Pats”. Fish have been seen leaving water in search of a pats to eat. There was once a Young boy that could not walk, his father placed a Pats on the end of a stick and mounted it over his shoulder. That young boys name was Usain Bolt.

Santa: What would you like for Christmas?
Boy: A Unicorn
Santa: Be realistic.
Boy: I’ll take a “Pats”
Santa: What color Unicorn do you want?

by trashman1978 December 7, 2018