Definitions by toolguru

festivus

A healthy alternative to Christmas or Chaunaka. Intstead of feeling an overwhelming compulsion to run up credit card debt by purchasing things for people that they will probably not need and regift to someone else next year, you get a microphone stand around which whores can dance. Everyone "airs their grievances" by writing a problem on a piece of paper and putting it into a box (without the person's name). Then people take turns reading them and the others offer solutions or crack on that person. After the anger and embarassment build (which is magnified by massive amounts of alcohol), it is time for "Feats of Strength". These can consist of anything from arm wrestling to tackle football in the backyard to chicken fighting. Unlike Christmas, people are actually real and end up feeling emotionally healed!

Sorry friends and family, I won't be making it to your Christmas parties this year. You should dump them to and come to my first annual "Festivus For the Rest of Us" jam.

festivus by toolguru January 18, 2008

madres 

A spanish slang word that translates to a softer version of "Fuck!" The word "madre" translates to "mother", but "madres" can be used to express exclamation in a less offensive way than the English version of "Fuck!"

Example: "Tenemos la tarea esta noche?, Madres!"
translation= "We have homework tonight? Crap!"

madres by toolguru December 15, 2007

blue tool 

A person who walks around with their blue tooth on and has extremely loud conversations in public, seemingly enjoying sharing their business with strangers.

"It was bad enough I had to wait in line for 20 minutes, let alone having to hear some blue tool behind me yapping away!"

blue tool by toolguru November 12, 2007

Bible thumper 

An individual who justifies his/her actions by quoting Bible passages. They often reject scientific evidence, pass judgement on others, and have a know-it-all attitude. Most have lost the ability to think critically.

As our Biology teacher showed us pictures of Lucy, a fairly well-preserved Australeopithicus fossil and tried to explain how she had characteristics of both extinct primates and some current primates such as apes, chimpanzees, and humans, some Bible thumper in the back of the room yelled out "We din't come from no monkeys!"

Bible thumper by toolguru November 12, 2007