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Definitions by the lad sat down

complete fucking plank 

A phrase used to describe someone that has just done/said somthing so stupid, you'd think it's not possible
G. W. Bush: They misunderestimate me
Tony Blair: You complete fucking plank!!

sexy football 

When football is played so well and so attractivly, it is deemed sexy by the ones watching and/or playing.
spectator 1: wow we've tottally outclassed them
spectator 2: i know, this is sexy football!
spectator 3: well it's not exactly an achievement, we're playing leeds...