the birds and trees's definitions

condom

It's a rubber sheath that you wear over your penis whenever you have sex. To be used every time, no exceptions. Available at most drug stores and convenience stores, in a variety of sizes. If used right, it will prevent pregnancy. Something everyone would use if humanity were not the terminally retarded species it is.

The Pope doesn't want you to wear condoms. Isn't that rich? An elderly former Nazi who has never had sex wants to tell you how to have sex, and you are going to listen to him? Incredible, our species is doomed.

by the birds and trees March 1, 2008

HAWWWAT-AH!

A common exclamation uttered by rapper Lil' John. Regularly parodied on Chapelle's Show.

Sir, would you like fries with that?
HAWWWAT-AH!?
I said, would you like fries with that?
eee-YAY-AH!!

by the birds and trees September 17, 2006

Peasants

An insult for one who is ignorant, uncouth, rude and rustic, with insinuations of poor personal hygiene.

From now on, you peasants are dead to me!

by the birds and trees February 27, 2007

load

The amount of semen expelled during one male ejaculation.

So I was having sex with Cassie the other day, she said she wouldn't mind if I blew my load on her face, so I did, and goddamn, I think it was the biggest load I ever dropped! She looked so beautiful with all that hot goo all over her pretty face! I can't wait to do it again!

by the birds and trees July 20, 2008

Loincloth

A garment, usually consisting of a single piece of cloth, worn around the hips and covering the groin area. Traditionally worn in regions of the world with a hot climate. Found throughout North and South America, Africa and Asia. Different types of loincloth vary of course; loincloths worn by Indians in North America were often of leather, the Aztecs made theirs from a cotton-like cloth made from cactus fiber. In Japan, all classes once wore loincloths, the farmers wore theirs as outer wear while wading in the rice paddies, and the nobles wore theirs as underwear, under their bakama (loose-fitting trousers) and kimono.

The loincloth was made from pressed cactus fiber cloth.

by the birds and trees October 4, 2007

Darth Malkin

A name for Michelle Malkin, a collumnist whose oppinions tend to veer towards the extreme right wing of the Republican party, exemplified by the likes of Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter.

Did you hear Darth Malkin today? Can you believe she just can't stand it that children born in America to forreign parents are granted citizenship? And both of her parents were forreign! What a hypocrite!

by the birds and trees July 17, 2006

SPARTA!!

A highly explosive grade of whoopass. Known to take foes utterly by surprise. So overpowering in its pwnage that it must be screamed every time it is said, preferably while kicking someone into a well, over a cliff or over any kind of precipice.

"Madness? This...IS SPARTA!!"

"Fool, I have come here to bring the SPARTA!! You don't want none of this!"

"SPARTA!!" *any words said after this point are drowned out by the mighty din of an ownage of epic proportions*

by the birds and trees March 1, 2008