The most vile, insipid, sanity-destroyingly horrible genre in the history of cinema. The romantic comedy is a genre of movie, usually mainstream, that follows a fairly consistant formula: boy meets girl, silly shit happens, low-intensity comedy insues, mild disasters averted, boy and girl get married and live happily ever after, the end. This formula never changes, for if there were the slightest deviation, it would not ba a romantic comedy. This genre exists solely for the entertainment of obnoxious, highly sentimental housewives who feel that their gender must consign them to this terrible fate. For them, to be feminine is to be an obnoxious, hand-wringing milksop. This is similar to the viewpoint among men that to be masculine is to be an obnoxious, belligerent neanderthal who crushes beer cans with his forehead. Romantic comedy is cinematic anti-matter. It is the opposite of art, and can not, by nature, be creative or original in any way. Romantic comedies are as plentiful as they are unbearable, due to the consistent market for sappy, brain-dead entertainment. A watcher of romatic comedies never gets tired of the same plot, over and over and over again, and therefore can watch the same movie, with subtle variations, thousands of times over a lifetime, viewing each new clone as if it were the first.
People of average intelligence are advised avoid this genre if at all possible, as it has been known to cause severe drowsiness, ennui, brain leakage through the ears and, in rare cases, extreme homicidal rage.
People of average intelligence are advised avoid this genre if at all possible, as it has been known to cause severe drowsiness, ennui, brain leakage through the ears and, in rare cases, extreme homicidal rage.
DVD's of previous years' romantic comedy hits are best suited for use as a cheap and durable paving and flooring material, and are of about the right size to be used as targets for archery and riflery practice.
I re-tiled my bathroom floor with surplus copies of You've Got Mail, and at half the cost of ceramic tile!
I re-tiled my bathroom floor with surplus copies of You've Got Mail, and at half the cost of ceramic tile!
by the birds and trees September 25, 2006
An insult for one who is ignorant, uncouth, rude and rustic, with insinuations of poor personal hygiene.
by the birds and trees February 22, 2007
A euphamism for New Age music, a horrible, hideous genre of aimless, unlistenable drech for washed out, middle-aged ex-hippies and the power crystal clutching disciples of con men who use bits and pieces of various Eastern religions, interspersed with liberal helpings of pure bullshit in order to sell their overpriced, horribly written books (also filled with bullshit) and ugly quartz crystal trinkets. Rhymes with "sewage."
Hey, holmes, get that fucken' newage crap off of my sound system right now! And bury that c.d. once you're through taking it far, far away from anyone with anything resembling taste in music.
by the birds and trees August 26, 2006
The county seat of Hampshire County in Western Massatchusetts. Northampton is the home of Smith College, one of America's first women's colleges. Perhaps because of the large number of college students persuing liberal arts majors, the city has a fairly free, artistic spirit to it. Politically, Northampton is mostly liberal, with a few leftists, and is one of the most gay-friendly cities in the region. Because of this, and because of the presence of a women's college, the city has gained a reputation as a city overrun with angry lesbians with numerous tattoos and crew cuts. Though there are many LGTB individuals living in Northampton, this rumor is somewhat of an exageration.
Northampton is dominated by a wide array of restaurants, cafes, bars, shops and a few places where they sell insanely expensive jewelery and glassware, obviously catering to the growing trend of gentrification that threatens to eradicate the town's original spirit.
Northampton is dominated by a wide array of restaurants, cafes, bars, shops and a few places where they sell insanely expensive jewelery and glassware, obviously catering to the growing trend of gentrification that threatens to eradicate the town's original spirit.
I'll be in Northampton for the rest of the evening, me and Louie are going to Thornes to pick up tickets for the ska show at Pearl Street.
by the birds and trees August 26, 2006
Emasculation. Removal of the male sexual organs. Practiced by ancient and barbaric societies where sex was considered highly evil.
Also used in the courts of ancient China to produce eunuchs, castrated male servants who could be trusted to be in close proximity to the Emperor. To be near the Emperor was to be near his harem, so naturally few men were allowed to be in his presence. Eunuchs were considered safe, since they had neither the will nor the ability to "sample the goods" as it were. As a result, eunuchs could gain special leverage with the Emperor, due to their proximity to him, and be appointed to high government offices. Towards the end of the 19th century, some of the most powerful men in the country were eunuchs.
Also used in the courts of ancient China to produce eunuchs, castrated male servants who could be trusted to be in close proximity to the Emperor. To be near the Emperor was to be near his harem, so naturally few men were allowed to be in his presence. Eunuchs were considered safe, since they had neither the will nor the ability to "sample the goods" as it were. As a result, eunuchs could gain special leverage with the Emperor, due to their proximity to him, and be appointed to high government offices. Towards the end of the 19th century, some of the most powerful men in the country were eunuchs.
by the birds and trees May 19, 2008
by the birds and trees February 23, 2007
by the birds and trees August 26, 2006