the Mad Shatter's definitions

poop delay

When someone is late because they (or someone they're traveling with) takes an excessively long poop, therefore causing a delay in the plans.

Sorry we're late to the poetry reading, we were set back about 20 minutes due to my husband's poop delay.

by The mad shatter July 9, 2019

phlegm-thower

Someone who is coughing so hard the mucus they cough up shoots across the room.

What the hell is going on in that room?

I wouldn't go in there - Kathy caught a cold this weekend and she's turned into a phlegm-thower.

by The mad shatter December 3, 2018

doublewide dust storm

Farting so badly that you stink up the entire double wide, often times creating a light brown haze that makes it challenging to see across the room. Most commonly happens in Oklahoma.

Damn Chad - you created a doublewide dust storm in here. No more chili dogs for you!

by The mad shatter December 3, 2018

Party Waffler

A person who constantly changes their mind about going to a party. Generally the frequency of the changes increases as the time of the party draws closer.

Honey - the party is tonight, are you sure you still want to go?

Yes, I think so, but maybe not, we'll have to see how I feel tonight.
You're such a Party Waffler

by The mad shatter September 28, 2018

bluetooth bomber

Someone who accidentally leaves their phone connected to a bluetooth speaker and then watches a video or plays a game resulting in their friends hearing what's on their phone.

We were all shocked to hear the My Little Pony theme song coming out of the stereo, but then we realized that Chad became a bluetooth bomber when he went to take a shit.

by The mad shatter September 28, 2018

phoilet phobia

The fear of dropping your phone in the toilet. It usually occurs when taking a piss and talking on the phone at the same time.

Hey man - are you still there?

Yeah, my phone slipped and I just had a bit of phoilet phobia, luckily I caught it so I'm good.

by The mad shatter September 28, 2018

Twat Stogie

A cigar or vape pen that has been inside of a woman’s vagina

Zoe heard the principal coming so she turned her favorite vape pen into a Twat Stogie when she stashed it in her cooter.

by The mad shatter September 8, 2018