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shitstained mattress's definitions

Laginator

A player in an online (typically pvp) game, who is so damn laggy they become invincible, seemingly entering Matrix-style bullet time, walking on water like Jesus, and wiping out entire enemy teams -- much like the terminator. Applies to both people intentionally lag switching as well as Vodafone customers.
Guy: Dude, some hacker just teleported into our base and slaughtered everyone!

Dude: Not hacking, just a laginator.

Guy: Did you check his ping?

Dude: It's over 9000.
by shitstained mattress September 11, 2020
mugGet the Laginatormug.

Burlapticking

Adjective used to emphasise your frustration with someone when "motherfucking" just doesn't cut it.
"Getcho burlapticking ass over 'ere boi"

"Ayo shut those big, juicy, burlapticking lips up"

"Burlapticking, fiddlesticking, finger-licking son-of-a-cunt"
by shitstained mattress September 11, 2020
mugGet the Burlaptickingmug.

Crackdown 3

The latest game in the Crackdown series, set to reinvent and build sky-high off of the foundations layed by the original game.

Crackdown 3 delivers Microsoft's Azure-powered, revolutionary multiplayer destruction in typical Crackdown fashion. Players will be able to leap from skyscraper to skyscraper – tearing them down with their buddies as they do so.

Outside of its exciting new multiplayer experience, the game will also have a traditional Crackdown-styled single player mode that is four player co-op enabled, much like the previous two games.

Set to release alongside Project Scorpio this year, on Xbox One and Win10. I'll remember its release date as the day my life was completed.
Before E3 2014:
Dude #1: 'Where the hell is Crackdown 3 right now?'

Dude #2: 'I've not the foggiest idea, mate.'

After E3 2014:

Dude #1: 'Holy smokes, it's actually happening! Crackdown 3 is here!'

Dude #2: 'Quite so, my good man. Lad, let us pray that this technological advancement – known as Crackdown 3 – delivers on what it promises.'

Dude #1: 'Oh it will BABY!'

Dude #2: 'Amen.'
by shitstained mattress April 13, 2017
mugGet the Crackdown 3mug.

Shitwreck

Derives from the term 'shipwreck'.

The result of peeing and pooing at the same time under precise circumstances that causes the poo to be almost lost in the merky water – baring an eery resemblance to a shipwreck.
John: "There you go, mate. Sorry for taking so long..."

Lee: "It's no bother – WOAH!"

John: "Huh?"

Lee: "Why the blooming fuck is there a shrunken replica of the Pirates of the Carribean set in my toilet?"

John: "Fuck, I thought I already flushed! Shitwrecks can be hard to spot..."

Lee: "You better flush this thing into Davey Jones' locker right now!"
by shitstained mattress April 24, 2017
mugGet the Shitwreckmug.

Burlapticking

Adjective used to emphasise your frustration with someone when "motherfucking" just doesn't cut it.
"Getcho burlapticking ass over 'ere boi"

"Ayo shut those big, juicy, burlapticking lips up"

"Burlapticking, fiddlesticking, finger-licking son-of-a-cunt"
by shitstained mattress September 11, 2020
mugGet the Burlaptickingmug.

Sea of Thieves

A stunning new open-world pirate game, made by the talented crew at Rare. With a gorgeous art style and a vast ocean to explore – this charming cell-shaded game requires true teamwork if you're to set sail into its mysteries.

Players can look forward to boarding ships and stealing booty later this year, when the game releases alongside Project Scorpio.

It is coming to Xbox One/Scorpio and Win10 as a Play Anywhere title. I'm really pumped to see if Rare can still work their magic!
Dude #1: 'Holy smokes, I can't wait to play Sea of Thieves!'

Dude#2: 'I know, right?! That game is gonna be lit.'

Weirdo: 'IT SUCKS BECAUSE IT'S NOT ON PS4!!!'

Dude #1: 'Get out of here, you Pony!'

Dude #2: 'Yeah, go play your little weaboo indie games!'

Dude #1 and #2 proceed to high-five.
by shitstained mattress April 13, 2017
mugGet the Sea of Thievesmug.

type hype

When a user is displayed as "typing" in a chatroom for an extended period of time – in which the respondents are left anticipating what's to come – usually after having announced that they have something important to tell everyone.
henry_homesweet05: GUYS @everyone

fabian: hi

rambo-tha-rand0: can u not @ everyone ever again

foccsakeman: Henry what is it

stewie: wot

henry_homesweet05 is typing...

foccsakeman: spit it out fag

fabian: type hype

stewie: is he using one finger or something

foccsakeman: his mom use one finger

Burlap: above gay

fabian: @everyone @here HENRY GENERATING SOME TYPE HYPE WOO WOO!!

foccsakeman: y tho

stewie: TYPE HYPE

larrylasalle: did someone say type hype

foccsakeman: NO FAGGIT

fabian: larry go home

rambo-tha-rand0: DONT @every1 !!!

larrylasalle: I don't have a home

stewie: oh

fabian: idk go to the pub or something

foccsakeman: oh ffs..

henry_homesweet05: lol

henry_homesweet05 is typing...

stewie: OMG u caveman did u rlly just delete everything to type "lol" kys.

Burlap: below gayer

foccsakeman: pls no more type hype

fabian: UR KILLING US HENRY WITH THE HYYYYYYYYPE BOYOOO

henry_homesweet05: actually nvm my mom is calling me gtg

stewie: wtf henry miss me with this gay shit

foccsakeman: henry Ur mom has a dick

Burlap: focc how would u know do u suck it

foccsakeman: um wtf

Burlap: I heard its highly calorific

foccsakeman: ...

fabian: @everyone

Timmy_Trumpet: can u not with those juicy roblox bobbies

rambo-tha-rand0 just left the server...

fabian: rip

BabeChorbie: I heard there was type hype?

foccsakeman: no

fabian: only PTSD now

stewie: edgy

Burlap: like your mom's polygonagonal tiddies

stewie: can someone do a euthanasia on this chat
by shitstained mattress June 12, 2018
mugGet the type hypemug.

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