shitstained mattress's definitions

Know-fuck-all

The opposite of a know-all; a person who behaves as if they know nothing but really is incredibly knowledgeable, to the point of causing annoyance.

"You aced the test yet talk to me as though you failed, such a patronising little know-fuck-all."

by shitstained mattress September 16, 2020

Jehovacraft

A vehicle used by Jehovah's Witnesses to travel from neighbourhood to neighbourhood, terrorising people on their doorsteps.

Chad: Just got done slashing some Jehovacraft tyres.

Jesus: Doing the Lord's work.

by shitstained mattress September 11, 2020

Burlapticking

Adjective used to emphasise your frustration with someone when "motherfucking" just doesn't cut it.

"Getcho burlapticking ass over 'ere boi"

"Ayo shut those big, juicy, burlapticking lips up"

"Burlapticking, fiddlesticking, finger-licking son-of-a-cunt"

by shitstained mattress September 11, 2020

Burlapticking

Adjective used to emphasise your frustration with someone when "motherfucking" just doesn't cut it.

"Getcho burlapticking ass over 'ere boi"

"Ayo shut those big, juicy, burlapticking lips up"

"Burlapticking, fiddlesticking, finger-licking son-of-a-cunt"

by shitstained mattress September 11, 2020

Laginator

A player in an online (typically pvp) game, who is so damn laggy they become invincible, seemingly entering Matrix-style bullet time, walking on water like Jesus, and wiping out entire enemy teams -- much like the terminator. Applies to both people intentionally lag switching as well as Vodafone customers.

Guy: Dude, some hacker just teleported into our base and slaughtered everyone!

Dude: Not hacking, just a laginator.

Guy: Did you check his ping?

Dude: It's over 9000.

by shitstained mattress September 11, 2020

Calmo

A cooler way of saying "Calm"; meaning "It's cool/fine/alright" or more often for this variation, "Affirmative".

"Ayo come play Roblox at 6?"
"Calmo."

"We just played Roblox for 12 hours straight," said the little virgin, "We need to get a job!"
"It's calmo -- life finds a way, innit?"
"Same time tomorrow?"
"Calmo."
"Stop saying that."
"Calm."

by shitstained mattress September 9, 2020

Calmo

A cooler way of saying "Calm"; meaning "It's cool/fine/alright" or more often for this variation, "Affirmative".

"Ayo come play Roblox at 6?"
"Calmo."

"We just played Roblox for 12 hours straight," said the little virgin, "We need to get a job!"
"It's calmo -- life finds a way, innit?"
"Same time tomorrow?"
"Calmo."
"Stop saying that."
"Calm."

by shitstained mattress September 9, 2020