shitstained mattress's definitions

Laginator

A player in an online (typically pvp) game, who is so damn laggy they become invincible, seemingly entering Matrix-style bullet time, walking on water like Jesus, and wiping out entire enemy teams -- much like the terminator. Applies to both people intentionally lag switching as well as Vodafone customers.

Guy: Dude, some hacker just teleported into our base and slaughtered everyone!

Dude: Not hacking, just a laginator.

Guy: Did you check his ping?

Dude: It's over 9000.

by shitstained mattress September 11, 2020

type hype

When a user is displayed as "typing" in a chatroom for an extended period of time – in which the respondents are left anticipating what's to come – usually after having announced that they have something important to tell everyone.

henry_homesweet05: GUYS @everyone

fabian: hi

rambo-tha-rand0: can u not @ everyone ever again

foccsakeman: Henry what is it

stewie: wot

henry_homesweet05 is typing...

foccsakeman: spit it out fag

fabian: type hype

stewie: is he using one finger or something

foccsakeman: his mom use one finger

Burlap: above gay

fabian: @everyone @here HENRY GENERATING SOME TYPE HYPE WOO WOO!!

foccsakeman: y tho

stewie: TYPE HYPE

larrylasalle: did someone say type hype

foccsakeman: NO FAGGIT

fabian: larry go home

rambo-tha-rand0: DONT @every1 !!!

larrylasalle: I don't have a home

stewie: oh

fabian: idk go to the pub or something

foccsakeman: oh ffs..

henry_homesweet05: lol

henry_homesweet05 is typing...

stewie: OMG u caveman did u rlly just delete everything to type "lol" kys.

Burlap: below gayer

foccsakeman: pls no more type hype

fabian: UR KILLING US HENRY WITH THE HYYYYYYYYPE BOYOOO

henry_homesweet05: actually nvm my mom is calling me gtg

stewie: wtf henry miss me with this gay shit

foccsakeman: henry Ur mom has a dick

Burlap: focc how would u know do u suck it

foccsakeman: um wtf

Burlap: I heard its highly calorific

foccsakeman: ...

fabian: @everyone

Timmy_Trumpet: can u not with those juicy roblox bobbies

rambo-tha-rand0 just left the server...

fabian: rip

BabeChorbie: I heard there was type hype?

foccsakeman: no

fabian: only PTSD now

stewie: edgy

Burlap: like your mom's polygonagonal tiddies

stewie: can someone do a euthanasia on this chat

by shitstained mattress June 12, 2018

Calmo

A cooler way of saying "Calm"; meaning "It's cool/fine/alright" or more often for this variation, "Affirmative".

"Ayo come play Roblox at 6?"
"Calmo."

"We just played Roblox for 12 hours straight," said the little virgin, "We need to get a job!"
"It's calmo -- life finds a way, innit?"
"Same time tomorrow?"
"Calmo."
"Stop saying that."
"Calm."

by shitstained mattress September 9, 2020

Crackdown 3

The latest game in the Crackdown series, set to reinvent and build sky-high off of the foundations layed by the original game.

Crackdown 3 delivers Microsoft's Azure-powered, revolutionary multiplayer destruction in typical Crackdown fashion. Players will be able to leap from skyscraper to skyscraper – tearing them down with their buddies as they do so.

Outside of its exciting new multiplayer experience, the game will also have a traditional Crackdown-styled single player mode that is four player co-op enabled, much like the previous two games.

Set to release alongside Project Scorpio this year, on Xbox One and Win10. I'll remember its release date as the day my life was completed.

Before E3 2014:
Dude #1: 'Where the hell is Crackdown 3 right now?'

Dude #2: 'I've not the foggiest idea, mate.'

After E3 2014:

Dude #1: 'Holy smokes, it's actually happening! Crackdown 3 is here!'

Dude #2: 'Quite so, my good man. Lad, let us pray that this technological advancement – known as Crackdown 3 – delivers on what it promises.'

Dude #1: 'Oh it will BABY!'

Dude #2: 'Amen.'

by shitstained mattress April 13, 2017

Jehovacraft

A vehicle used by Jehovah's Witnesses to travel from neighbourhood to neighbourhood, terrorising people on their doorsteps.

Chad: Just got done slashing some Jehovacraft tyres.

Jesus: Doing the Lord's work.

by shitstained mattress September 11, 2020

Racist

Overused, coloured punchline that has been hijacked by the left to reinforce political correctness and silence opposition. Often used in situations that are about as racist as third-way feminism is an equality movement, in somewhat of a double entendre where the person slinging it about is the actual racist.

"In the grim dark future, there is only racism, sexism, ageism, sizeism and about as many genders as there are grains of sand on the planet."

"You racist cis white male! REEEEEE!"

by shitstained mattress December 17, 2017

Burlapticking

Adjective used to emphasise your frustration with someone when "motherfucking" just doesn't cut it.

"Getcho burlapticking ass over 'ere boi"

"Ayo shut those big, juicy, burlapticking lips up"

"Burlapticking, fiddlesticking, finger-licking son-of-a-cunt"

by shitstained mattress September 11, 2020