Definitions by paleoderek

My Twitter account was hacked 

English phrase intended as a blatant lie to obscure an act of poor judgment on one's part. Originated with regard to making horrible statements on Twitter, of course, but can really be used in just about any situation and be as believable.

Child - Mom, you were supposed to pick me up from school at 3:30 today.
Mom (obviously drunk) - My Twitter account was hacked.

My Twitter account was hacked by paleoderek November 20, 2014

glonk 

v., onomatopoeia for the sound that Gmail chat makes when someone sends you an instant message.

Hold on, someone just glonked me.

glonk by paleoderek September 10, 2011

SYWM 

abbr. "Shut your whore mouth". Often used in IM, and texting.

OMG! SYWM and stay away from by BF!

SYWM by paleoderek July 29, 2009