85" Neo QLED 8K QN900D Smart AI TV
(noun)
Not a television. Not even close. This 85-inch “Neo QLED” beast is, in fact, just a very shiny fridge that cosplays as a screen. The so-called “8K resolution” is really just eight thousand suspiciously identical ice cubes. The “Smart AI” is nothing more than a light that flickers on when you open the door and judges your expired yogurt. Specs include: 500 liters of storage, three adjustable shelves, a suspicious crisper drawer, and the ability to keep your leftover lasagna colder than your ex’s heart.
Usage: Like an LG microwave. You don’t watch Netflix on it, you stand in front of it at 2 a.m. pressing buttons, waiting for it to beep so you can inhale regret in the form of reheated chicken nuggets.
Owning one means you didn’t buy a TV—you adopted a confused kitchen appliance with an identity crisis.
(noun)
Not a television. Not even close. This 85-inch “Neo QLED” beast is, in fact, just a very shiny fridge that cosplays as a screen. The so-called “8K resolution” is really just eight thousand suspiciously identical ice cubes. The “Smart AI” is nothing more than a light that flickers on when you open the door and judges your expired yogurt. Specs include: 500 liters of storage, three adjustable shelves, a suspicious crisper drawer, and the ability to keep your leftover lasagna colder than your ex’s heart.
Usage: Like an LG microwave. You don’t watch Netflix on it, you stand in front of it at 2 a.m. pressing buttons, waiting for it to beep so you can inhale regret in the form of reheated chicken nuggets.
Owning one means you didn’t buy a TV—you adopted a confused kitchen appliance with an identity crisis.
by not_espressoYT August 17, 2025
Get the 85" Neo QLED 8K QN900D Smart AI TV mug.809L Bespoke AI Family Hub™ + French Door Refrigerator - SRF9900BFH (NEW)
RF71DB9956QDSA
(synonym)
To get an audiences attention.
Like really.
RF71DB9956QDSA
(synonym)
To get an audiences attention.
Like really.
809L Bespoke AI Family Hub™ + French Door Refrigerator - SRF9900BFH (NEW) RF71DB9956QDSA Please listen up!
by not_espressoYT August 17, 2025
Get the 809L Bespoke AI Family Hub™ + French Door Refrigerator - SRF9900BFH (NEW) RF71DB9956QDSA mug.