nob's definitions

Spread the Butter

For those that are extremely ass-greasy on a constant basis, this is a term to be aware of. Keeping up with asshole hygiene is very difficult for some individuals. Sometimes, to remain dry and “scent-free”, there needs to be some improvising when toilet paper isn’t easily accessible. It would be easy just to drag your ass across the carpet like a dog but there needs to be a certain level of dignity kept. Common methods to wiping ones ass can include using the bed sheet while in bed, using the inside of your shirt or underwear that you are wearing, washing your ass with water in someone’s bathroom sink (although disgusting, the jerk didn’t have any TP!), or any other situation where toilet paper is substituted with something.

“I was greasier than all hell so I had to spread the butter with Joe’s ferret.”

by Nob April 28, 2004

Cold Cuts

A fun nighttime activity. Under the cover of darkness a man or woman sneaks into a morgue with a shoehorn, white mask, and a tuna grinder. Only after finding a deceased woman can the wild sex begin. The shoehorn is only necessary if the corpse’s pussy has become too stiff for penetration.

“Can cold cuts give cold sores?”

by Nob April 28, 2004

Gum Drop

When you go and take a shit in a really nasty bathroom and you decide to stand. During the wiping process you knock a lump of wet shit into your underwear or on the ground.

"These gum drops you gave me taste really bad!"

by Nob April 27, 2004