nob's definitions

Cold Cuts

A fun nighttime activity. Under the cover of darkness a man or woman sneaks into a morgue with a shoehorn, white mask, and a tuna grinder. Only after finding a deceased woman can the wild sex begin. The shoehorn is only necessary if the corpse’s pussy has become too stiff for penetration.

“Can cold cuts give cold sores?”

by Nob April 28, 2004

Gum Drop

When you go and take a shit in a really nasty bathroom and you decide to stand. During the wiping process you knock a lump of wet shit into your underwear or on the ground.

"These gum drops you gave me taste really bad!"

by Nob April 27, 2004

Picasso Painting

An artistic approach to going to the bathroom. This art occurs accidentally or intentionally, and it doesn’t have to occur in a restroom. When your intestinal track and colon starts gurgling and bubbling with watery excrement and then notifies you that the situation has instantly become critical. You truffle-shuffle your way over to the nearest toilet, drop your pants and underwear as you wobble over to the first available stall, and then turn around and grab your ankles as you shit with all your might. The higher up on the wall the shit goes, the better the Picasso. If you paint onto the ceiling you have turned your art into a Michelangelo painting.

“The neighbors dog wouldn’t shut up all night so I went over and Picasso Painted it.”

by Nob April 27, 2004