Cockney

A person from East London - definitely not one of those ponces from North or West London who drink wine instead of beer and spend all day talking about their houses.
A real Cockney is someone that all the manc, scouser, geordie and mackem hardmen really want to be but won't admit to. Not only is the Cockney smarter and more
cunning than the northerner, but he (or she) is better looking, sharper dressed, and a much better street fighter. Come down to Upton Park and try West Ham if you think otherwise.
And look, we can spell too!
The typical northern master criminal is someone who thieves car radios, goes shoplifting or robs seven-year old kids at knifepoint. That's about their limit. A good old Cockney blag, on the other hand, involves robbing millions of quid from banks, trains and bullion warehouses. Different league.
So to sum up: the cockney is better looking, better dressed, a better fighter, more intelligent and better in bed than the northerner.
That's why they hate us.

Cockney to geordie: ere - you a faackin norverner?
You're faackin ded sun.

Cockney to Cockney: let's git darn sarf o' the river an giv them faackin Millwall cants a ruckin.

by mickthefish December 09, 2009