mark h's definitions

space suit

Slang term for a condom. Especially one that is meant to provide better protection using the latest advancements in medical technology. And of course this has nothing to do with the protective gear that astronauts wear while walking and performing tasks in space.

Doctor: Okay now Ron, I am going to have you volunteer you to try out the experimental Adonis 9000 Smart Condom. Created using the latest advancements in nanotechnology, the Adonis 9000 has built in nanofibers and nanowiring that are intended to actually provide more pleasure while offering more protection. It's also supposed to feel like a real skin penis and it also supposed to work like an extra foreskin.

Ron Jeremy: Umm, alright sure Doc I'll be happy to try it out. *feminine moaning in the background* Honey, just relax! I know how horny you are, but just hang on to your cheeseburger(vagina) while I put this space suit on!

Doctor: Thank you Ron! But remember to take it off before ejaculating!

Ron Jeremy: I will, Doc.

*moments later, Ron and his female sex partner have finished doing their thing and Ron goes back to the doctor to tell him the results*

Ron Jeremy: (holding up his experimental condom)Holy shit this baby does work! My orgasms and her orgasms are much more intense!

Doctor: I am proud of you Ron! And my invention!

by Mark H September 5, 2004

1-up

1. An extra life(or extra man) that you need in order to progress through a video game. In fact, you'll need enough of these to make considerable progress. Especially if you suck at the game. 1-ups are usually risky and difficult to obtain as items.
2. Also can be another term for sexual intercourse. Shortened form of "1 dick up (one's) pussy or ass."

Damn, Mark sure has a such a quick reaction time and alot of luck to beat Mario Bros on his first time playing it. He beat the whole game singlehandedly without relying on any 1-ups he earned! Mario surely must be happily spending all those 1-ups on Princess Toadstool in bed at this time!

OR

Damn, Mark really sucks at Mario Bros! He can't even get past the first level no matter how many attempts and always uses up his 1-ups! Mario must surely be getting all his 1-ups back indabutt from Bowser in his dungeon at this time!





Mark H. Proud UD author since February 2004.

by Mark H July 21, 2005

wookie

When you shave your pubic hair and then ejaculate(or do the Emeril) onto your woman's face and throw the shaved-off pubic hair all over her face.

Also known as a sasquatch.

I cummed all over Sarah's face and then covered all of her face with my pubic hair. Now she looks like Chewbacca.

by Mark H September 11, 2004

spazz

Ghetto slang for a SPAS 12 semi-automatic shotgun.

In a back alley behind a nightclub, Nick D is having a deadly confrontation with a rival pimp. Or with the confrontation indeed end up deadly for Nick or for his rival?

Rival Pimp: (threatening Nick D with a large razor-sharp machete*) Aiight, Nick "Tiny Dick," you've got a lot of explaining yo self to do, since I caught you on the hunt for pink october making off with my women.
Nick D: Yeah, really. You know what them girls said about you while I was slippin' them the sausage? They say that they prefer my company over that of a smelly, tore up, parasite-infested cheese hog niggapotamus like yo-self!
Rival Pimp: *face turns red* That's it, sucka! Me and my crew are gonna run up to you and slice and dice you so bad, the ER surgeons are gonna have to perform a shitload of cabbages to save yo trick-ass self, bitch!
Nick D: *quickly pulls out his SPAS-12 from underneath his trenchcoat and points it at his rival* Not while I got my spazz with me, mothafucka!
Rival Pimp: *empties his urinary bladder all over his pants and runs off bawling like a momma's boy*

by Mark H October 7, 2004

the man with the golden gun

A man who has had sex with so many women during his lifetime and/or has become a very well-reknowned male pornstar, that many people who know him consider a legend.

And yes of course, the term "golden gun" refers to that man's penis.

Ron Jeremy is an excellent example of someone whom you'd like to call "the man with the golden gun."

by Mark H July 17, 2004

assmosis

When two people engage in anal sex.

(called "assmosis" because the two lovers are absorbing each other's pleasure as they bump their ends)

Derived from the word "osmosis."

Okay cowboy, let's go make love on the couch via assmosis.

by Mark H May 22, 2004

roll the dice

To masturbate. The term is used particularly to refer to male masturbation(jacking off), since the action of pulling on and fondling one's own penis or testicles often looks like actually rolling a pair of dice.

I was rolling my dice at those tig ol bitties on that hot broad who was giving me a private lap dance.

by Mark H September 6, 2004