karl hungus's definitions

Magic Carpet Ride

Placing two to three sheets of toilet paper lengthwise along the long axis of the inspection shelf portion of a toilet. The purpose is to reduce the friction of stool as the toilet is flushed and virtually eliminate skid marks as the log goes down the flume.

That was the largest beef I have ever laid out. I am so glad I did a good pre-flight on that inspection shelf. That turd went for a magic carpet ride !

Please lay down a magic carpet when using the water closet, my back hurts and I am tired of scrubbing burn-outs off my porcelain. Danke !

by Karl Hungus February 5, 2023

Fuquet

When you just know you are better than fate, and irony and all that other predetermined or random nonsense that you just say 'Fuquet' chug some Wild Turkey and drive on into work. The world is yours to shit on, and you are above it all. The most self-important dumb bitch in county lock up with that big white ass that is screaming to get cracked open by the sisters.

Did you see that guy on the news? He got pulled for DUI on the drive to work. He told the cop 'it's ok, I'm on my way to the airfield, I'm the pilot'. Motherfucker just said Fuquet and did it live. Full send.

by Karl Hungus February 17, 2023

Rule of Roelofs

When an action does not take effect during a potential period of time, it is rolled off to the next more optimal window of opportunity. This is not a function of statistical probability, it is simply the way things are and cannot be explained by logic or mathematical analysis; it just happens that way.

That smarty pants tried to explain with a rationale of probability that day shift didn’t receive a call, and that this had zero impact on night shift getting call. You would think he had heard of the Rule of Roelofs. Apparently not.

by Karl Hungus April 24, 2024

Mattress

A femme Matt, binary. Gender specifically a female who is not as smart as she thinks she sounds. Sometimes with a proportioned head, which is rare among Matt’s. AKA Offensive.

That Mattress Staci is a real R in the morning especially when insufficiently caffeinated. She does have a huge following on that foot page on OnlyFans, there are a lot of Troy69s however. Not sure they all count.

by Karl Hungus March 29, 2023

Poop Sommelier

An enthusiastic expert in the depth of aromas in human fecal matter. Often found outside restrooms, waiting for a waft of olfactory pleasure emanating from a porcelain bowl full of goodies. Some like rich full reds, others fine crisp whites. The poop sommelier seeks the browns and often greens of excrement.

That incessant imp was outside the bathroom again waiting for me as I was taking a shit. What is wrong with him?
Answer: Poop Sommelier

by Karl Hungus April 24, 2024

Cream Cheese

The most notorious move in all of Russian wrestling. Usually performed when one wrestler is on top of the other in a rear mount. Only the most skilled wrestler has even the slightest chance of escape. Once the maneuver has been successfully executed, the victor may stand up and cheer CREAM CHEESE !! Usually the crowd will as well.

Nickolai Volkoff had the Iron Sheik face down on the mat, with one boot on his spine. He stood up an shouted CREAM CHEESE ! Then he made the Shiek submit after performing the Russian Pretzel Lock.

by Karl Hungus March 8, 2023

OTTT

The sound and or proposition of a homosexual Russian to obtain a mouthful of cock so as the gag reflex is actually muffled by the breadth and depth of the intruding cock.

It is TK day again, You know that boner is back in his CHU waiting for his roommate ....OTTT...Giddens

by Karl Hungus January 11, 2023