Feces Florentine

When you place ten pieces of shit upright in a circle to look like the bones in a Steak Florentine.
Guido the gourmet chef at Cafe Tuscany ran out of steak, so he improvised with a Feces Florentine.
by joseph blough January 02, 2025
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transverse digestion

An unfortunate birth defect whereby one’s digestive tract is reversed, causing one to eat with their ass and crap out of their mouth. The ass must be trained to chew food in the same manner as teeth. A serious side effect of transverse digestion is halitosis.
Derek: “Hey Mike, how come you never eat with us?”
Mike: “I didn’t want you to watch me eat with my transverse digestion condition.”
Derek: “So THAT’S why your breath stinks like shit!”
by joseph blough April 08, 2022
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Plop Plop Fizz Fizz

1) When you take a shit in a glass of soda pop.

2) An old Alka-Seltzer ad campaign.
Stan needed to take a crap badly, but there was no toilet nearby. He improvised with a bucket and 2-liter of Pepsi. He ended up with a Plop Plop Fizz Fizz.
by joseph blough February 25, 2022
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Mount Feceuvious

When you take a massive shit so big it encompasses the entire toilet bowl, appearing like a mountain in the toilet.
Dave ate 40 Buffalo wings last night and ended up creating a Mount Feceuvious in the toilet the very next day.
by joseph blough October 12, 2022
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gorpuscle

A bubble that comes out of your ass when you fart, which is not quite a shart but enough to give you the uncomfortable feeling of something wet in your ass. Gorpuscles can range from small and marginally moist to large, underwear-staining ass drip.
Paulie had to fart, but ended up blowing a rather large gorpuscle out of his butt. He made a beeline to the bathroom to wipe his ass.
by joseph blough October 26, 2022
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ASSdfghjkl

When someone sits on a computer keyboard and takes a shit on it.
Ryan decided to play a sick joke on Sal by crapping all over his open laptop. Sal saw what Ryan did and said “thanks for the ASSdfghjkl! Now clean it up and get the fuck out of here!”
by joseph blough December 31, 2022
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doodiephiliac

A person who never has a solid stool and always has diarrhea. And I mean all the time.
Dave: Why are you always spending your time on the toilet?

Steve: I have no choice. I’m cursed for all of eternity as a doodiephiliac.
by joseph blough March 12, 2022
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