frank klaune's definitions

scratch the patch

Literally, for one to "scratch where it itches", in particular to scratch the genital area. Often seen as a sign of some disgusting disease or STD.

Man, Frank was picking up that chick in the bar, but when he saw her scratch the patch, he flipped her off and left. I think he figured she had VD or crabs or something.

by Frank Klaune November 13, 2004

test fart

When you are in a social / public situation and have the urge to pass a considerable amount of gas. If it has been a long time since your last fart, you are unsure of:

1) The sound level (volume) of the fart
2) The smell level (stench) of the fart

... so you let out a small amount of the fart in a discreet fashion- thus you have let a test fart.

Frank was in church the other day and had to fart really bad. He said he intended to let a test fart but instead of a squibbler, it turned out to be a blastus and he wound up shitting his pants in the middle of the sermon. Damn, what an idiot!

by Frank Klaune April 14, 2005

Poopalorium

Similar to "leakatorium" but indicating a #2 function at the restroom.

Damn, Frank sure takes a long time in the poopalorium.

by Frank Klaune January 26, 2005

onion soup

Phrase used to describe powerful B.O. (body odor). A person with powerful, stenchy, reeking B.O. may smell like onion soup. The smell is common among the french people.

Damn, Frank didn't take a shower for two weeks. When he came into the room, Mike said, "PHEW! Onion soup!"

by Frank Klaune May 2, 2005

shatman

The highly-underrated, sadly misunderstood, less-well-known stand-in for the popular super-hero, Batman. Shatman, dressed in a toilet tissue cape was conspicuous by the plunger hanging from his utility belt, and led his civilian life as an innocuous, janitor with tourettes syndrome, horn rimmed glasses and voyeuristic tendencies named "Floyd Furpkin". The writers for the comic series used weak plots and suggestive themes and the general public was not amused with such episodes as "exploding toilet mayhem" and "exlax world submission" and thus the series was cancelled in it's first season, relegating Shatman sadly to a lifetime of widely acclaimed obscurity.

SHATMANNNN... da-da-da-da-da-da-da... SHATMANNN... da-da-da-da-da-da-da... SHATMANNN!

by Frank Klaune November 30, 2003

dial tone

To hit or smack another with unmerciful velocity. Often used in the context of a sports game, it indicates a severe body blow. See ring the bell.

Damn, when Frank flipped off the other driver, the guy jumped out of his car and dial toned him right then and there.

by Frank Klaune March 29, 2005

lipstick on your dipstick

Does this really need an explanation? It seems to be used primarily when lecherous drunks are sitting at a bar and a hot bitch walks in.

(Drunks talking in a bar as the hot bitch walks in)...

"Damn, Frank. Check out what just came in the door! Man.... How'd you like to get her lipstick on your dipstick?"

by Frank Klaune January 27, 2005