Keith Arsewank

American conservative, known for his views on the arming of teachers. Formally known as Keith R. Swank, he was ridiculed by UK Twitter for his name. The term "Keith Arsewank" was born on the 27th March 2023, after he posted a tweet saying "TEACHERS. SHOULD. BE. ARMED.", which quickly went viral on UK Twitter, leading to the ridicule.

Keith Arsewank Day is now celebrated on the 27th March 2023, the day he posted his now-infamous tweet.

by fearlessmonkey8 April 04, 2023

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Good boy

Bertie. Bertie the pug.

Bert: *chill*
Me: *also chill*
Bert: *comes up and sits next to me with his paw on my leg"
Everyone: "Aww how cute the good boy Bert is".

by fearlessmonkey8 July 28, 2021

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Schrödinger's Woman

The girl you're trying to chat up is both the fittest bird on the planet and a fat slag at the same time until your pointless attempt at chatting her up gets accepted or rejected. Often leads to doublethink.

Bloke 1: "Check her out, she's well fit!"
Bloke 2: "I tried to chat her up earlier, stay out of her way, she's a bloody whore"
Bloke 1: "I'll give her a chance, I'll go see if she likes me"
A few seconds later
Bloke 1: "Actually you're right, she is a fat whore. I know it's Schrödinger's Woman a bit, but it's true"

by fearlessmonkey8 February 09, 2023

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Doublethink

The stage after Schrödinger's Woman, doublethink is the ability to hold two contradictory opinions about said woman and forget the one which does not approve with your narrative (usually after a failed pickup attempt)

Bloke 1: "Mate, I thought you said you loved that bird!"
Bloke 2: "No, she's a fat slag. I've never loved her"
Bloke 1: "Are you going mental or are you just forcing doublethink on yourself?"

by fearlessmonkey8 February 09, 2023

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