the slow realization that everything you’ve done has left no grateful impact in your life or others. that you cannot make a meaningful impact on the world, that you cannot make a meaningful impact on the people around you and even yourself. when you start remembering the tiniest things you’ve done, the tiniest things you could’ve done. how you used to tell yourself you’d never catch yourself acting like the people you despised, just to see their reflection staring back at you when you look in the mirror. when you realize that you are like every other human being on this planet, that you are no different than others, no better. that there is only one way to end this numbing feeling that will soon gnaw away at you. a solution most people chose that they will regret.
“When I look at you, I regret everything I did to you. Even this. I will soon fill your heart with an indescribable amount of sorrow that will soon lead you to share the emotions I felt. Regret that you didn’t do anything impactful in my life, or the others around you. It will leave you to feel like there is only one way out of this numbing feeling that will soon gnaw away at you.”
by caejose December 29, 2024