bryan gilbreath's definitions

inaporkriate

An inappropriate comment or reaction typically regarding someone being overweight.

A: Wow, I cannot believe how absolutely fat you've become. You are truly a huge lardass!

B: Why, thank you for noticing! Please, before you make one more 'inaporkriate' comment, pass me that tub of butter.

by Bryan Gilbreath December 4, 2009

crawlleague

A 'crawlleague' is a co-worker or colleague whose lack of self-respect and character forces them to spend much of their working life, and their sad, sad social life on their knees.

Employee #1: Wow, that guy seems to be a rising star in your firm. Every time I visit your office he's hanging on your bosses' every word and staring at him with those big doe eyes.

Employee #2: Yeah, my 'crawlleague' is a real tool alright.

by Bryan Gilbreath March 7, 2012

mikegrain headache

The headach one gets from working with someone named Mike.

A: Dude, you look like you're in agony. What's up?
B: I've got a "Mikegrain headache" man. Worst ever. There's a project due next week and he's freaking out like it was due yesterday.

by Bryan Gilbreath August 28, 2009

nagnify

When someone takes a small issue and nags about it as if it's a larger issue than it really is.

A: Why don't you bury those bodies deeper so it doesn't stink up our crawlspace so much!?

B: Sheesh, have you ever tried digging under a house before? How about you shutting your yap and not 'nagnify' the situation!

by Bryan Gilbreath October 1, 2009

slaprehensive

Hesitation one may experience before slapping someone such as a loved one or employer.

A: Dude! That was so cool when you backhanded the boss! Too bad you lost your job.

B: Thanks! At first I was a bit 'slaprehensive'. But then I remembered what an ass he is. It was totally worth it!

by Bryan Gilbreath September 23, 2009

refraining order

A refraining order is when someone tells you not to say something to someone other than yourself.

Suzy: You better not comment on my sister's fat ass again. You're under a temporary 'refraining order' until we leave her house.
Jimmy: Yes dear.

by Bryan Gilbreath April 16, 2009

Birkenstocker

A creepy hippy that stalks people.

A: Did you pick up your vitamins at the health food store?
B: I tried but there was a 'Birkenstocker' following me down every aisle and I had to ditch him.

by Bryan Gilbreath October 17, 2010