Skip to main content

Definitions by albert woods

Pronounced like onion with 'Gr' in front, and usually in the plural.

Singular: - A left (or right) sailor's testicle that has been grossly inflated by a true 'blow' job in some stinking back-street Asian or Arab port during shore leave.

Plural - (Gronions) The worst scenario. Both balls about to explode through over-inflation, usually brought about by the aforesaid vicious fellatio, but with the added intervention of the house madam sticking a finger up the rectum at the same time.
Ship's Doctor:

'You seem to have a severe case of the Gronions'.

Sailor:

'Is there any cure?'

Ship's Doctor:

'No; but if you're willing, I suggest you donate one to Arsenal and the other to Man. U.'
Gronion by Albert Woods September 27, 2007

Blanket Crawler 

An insatiable cum-guzzling nympho who, not satisfied with a generous mouthful, dives under the blankets foraging for any stray jism blobs (sometimes next morning).
Peregrine: 'I'm worried about our sex life. Lady Isobel keeps disappearing under the bedclothes.'

Quentain: 'Don't be. She's probably a blanket crawler.'
Blanket Crawler by Albert Woods September 27, 2007
An unbroken string of musical-sounding farts, reminiscent of James Last records.

Also see Smelody.
'God Cynthia. What on earth did you eat last night? You've been bum-humming that Gershwin smedley for at least five minutes. I can't breathe.'
Smedley by Albert Woods September 27, 2007
The subtle female bouquet - reminiscent of fish - resulting from an excess of old vaginal mucus. Sometimes found on ladies bicycle saddles in hot weather Shufti.
'Well Rupert; from the delightful aroma from the kitchen, I thought we were having fish for supper.'

'No, Claude: it's pheasant old boy. What you can smell is Lady Constance's whang. Quite mackerelly today, don't ya think?'
Whang by Albert Woods September 22, 2007