Definitions by YeknodSlamuel
Stall Crawl
noun / verb
The act of absolutely destroying a public toilet, not flushing, then immediately migrating to another stall to continue shitting—as if one toilet simply could not contain the magnitude of the operation.
A proper Stall Crawl requires:
1. At least two separate stalls.
2. Defecation in the first stall.
3. A deliberate failure to flush.
4. Immediate relocation to another stall.
5. Resumption of the shit.
Moaning, whimpering, grunting, or carrying a personal item from stall to stall is not required, but greatly increases the severity of the Stall Crawl.
The act of absolutely destroying a public toilet, not flushing, then immediately migrating to another stall to continue shitting—as if one toilet simply could not contain the magnitude of the operation.
A proper Stall Crawl requires:
1. At least two separate stalls.
2. Defecation in the first stall.
3. A deliberate failure to flush.
4. Immediate relocation to another stall.
5. Resumption of the shit.
Moaning, whimpering, grunting, or carrying a personal item from stall to stall is not required, but greatly increases the severity of the Stall Crawl.
“Bro, some guy on the ferry just Stall Crawled the bathroom. He destroyed the toilet next to me, didn’t flush, moved to the stall on my other side, and immediately started shitting again.”
Stall Crawl by YeknodSlamuel September 20, 2026
Cool in the Pool
1. The rare state of being completely unbothered, composed, and effortlessly confident regardless of circumstances.
2. A declaration that everything is, in fact, fine—even when available evidence strongly suggests that absolutely nothing is fine.
3. The aquatic equivalent of “cool as a cucumber,” except objectively superior because it rhymes.
2. A declaration that everything is, in fact, fine—even when available evidence strongly suggests that absolutely nothing is fine.
3. The aquatic equivalent of “cool as a cucumber,” except objectively superior because it rhymes.
“Federal law enforcement is closing in, our collective impulse control has failed, and Sam is questioning my law degree again—but don’t worry. We’re cool in the pool.”
Cool in the Pool by YeknodSlamuel August 31, 2026