ToddUncommon's definitions

silly o'clock

A time of morning (or night), usually between 3AM - 6AM in the local time zone that requires a person to interrupt normal sleep or waking patterns for often dubious reasons. Often used in reference to extremely early arrivals to airports, or to join business teleconference sessions with participants in multiple time zones. Also see stupid o'clock.

"I don't look so good because I had to be at work at silly o'clock this morning to join a videocon with our development office in Greece."

by ToddUncommon October 26, 2008

Trump Flu

The name of the fully contracted illness brought on by coronavirus COVID-19. Since the disease is most deadly to the old, fat, and unwell the current president easily fits into the vulnerable demographic. As the same time, his vainglorious incompetence is largely responsible for the rapid increase of COVID-19 infections and cases of Trump Flu. Also known as Boomer Flu.

"I just got back from a seniors' cruise, and I feel horrible. I think I may have caught Trump Flu!"

by ToddUncommon March 9, 2020

Butt Rations

The process by which people now use less than 20% of their normal toilet paper when wiping their ass. Toilet paper is worth more than gold (by weight) during this coronavirus COVID-19 pandemic.

"I'm going through serious butt rations right now. I'm now down to two squares per trip, and soon, I'll have to resort to Kleenex. Then napkins. Then paper towel. Then socks. Then sandpaper. Then tree bark. Then my hand. Then my other hand. And then I die."

by ToddUncommon March 21, 2020

ONAN

Stands for One Network America News network. Sometimes mistakenly referred to OAN, ONAN is a small-time, mom's basement "news" operation. Shows are typically hosted by distended colons and strung-out gap-toothed cam girls. Owned by Gil "Red" Herring, their only real claim to fame is the manufacture and marketing of matching sets of presidential knee pads and butt snorkels.

"Did you see that 'reporter' from ONAN at the federal conronavirus briefing? What do you think will happen first--she finally gets her adult teeth, or she promotes out of fifth grade this year?"

by ToddUncommon April 7, 2020

worm burner

Potentially applicable to any ball game played on a grassy field, but most appropriate to soccer and golf, it is when the ball is shot or struck that it travels with great velocity just above the grass, such that the friction would "burn" any unlucky worms that happened to be on the surface.

Landon Donovan's low shot on goal was a real worm burner.

by ToddUncommon June 29, 2010