Definitions by The Pirate of Pissants

burrito 

Perjorative slang for a Beretta handgun (as carried by a military person or federal cop)

My burrito is rusty and it rattles so bad I can't hit the side of a barn.

burrito by The Pirate of Pissants April 9, 2006

elevator captain

The person who stands in front of the buttons in the elevator and asks everyone what floor they would like pushed. Not to be confused with elevator attendant or operator. The elevator captain is just some doofus who insists on standing really close to the buttons so he/she can be the only one to push them.

The dork who thought he was the elevator captain leered at me when I asked him to push "69."

elevator captain by The Pirate of Pissants February 21, 2006

Tricky bag 

A gear bar or duffel frequently carried by police. The contents of the bag can include extra ammo, snack food, a sweater, or any other equipment that supplements the cops issued gear, makes his work more comfortable, or prepares him for that unknown encounter that most cops fear. Probably from the spanish word "trique" which loosely translates to stuff.

1. The smiling border patrolman reached into his tricky bag and tossed the starving wetbacks a MRE.
2. "Rookie, your first job each day is to pick out a good vehicle with a working A/C and good times radio and park it near the building so I don't have to carry my tricky bag very far."
3. I am ready for an ambush because my tricky bag contains 200 rounds of ammo and a hand grenade my brother-in-law smuggled off post.

Tricky bag by The Pirate of Pissants November 21, 2005

Toilet Gator

An animal that must exist because sometimes when you look down in the toilet, you can his little brown tail coming down out of the flush hole in the bowl. Very Reclusive-usually only the tail is visible.

I can't go to the crapper. I am scared the toilet gator will get me.

Toilet Gator by The Pirate of Pissants September 24, 2005