by The Original Agahnim September 29, 2021
The girl brought a blue ringed octopus to her hotel in a fish tank and put it in the bath tub with her, but the good news is that she was an organ donor, and she had donated 7 organs to seven different strangers after she had determined whether or not they were worthy of her organ donations/transplants. She had a guilt complex about killing her husband in a car accident while distracted by a cell phone call. Had she been a fugitive from the law, she most likely wouldn't have time to feel guilty, but since his death looked like an accident, she had time not only to develop a guilt complex, but to pick and choose seven strangers as candidates for organ transplants after her premeditated suicide. Her octopus death was one of the more interesting ways to die that investigators or medical examiners had ever seen.
by The Original Agahnim September 13, 2021
Talking about octopus death as a cause of death is like driving a Ferrari to females if you do it right, though it's like the opposite of driving a Ferrari if you don't.
Other guy- Do females actually go for the Octopus death shit?
Guy- Yes, they think I'm as charming as the Grinch when I talk about Octopus death.
Guy- Yes, they think I'm as charming as the Grinch when I talk about Octopus death.
by The Original Agahnim September 13, 2021
Smooth talking shower crew 1- Would you like this one or that one ma'am?
Customer on TV- They were respectful and professional when they came to install my shower, I would recommend them to a friend.
Rude shower installation crew- What do ya want us to install a shower for so you can blow your husband in it you fuckin cocksucker? We do what the fuck we want to do to somebody's house, so shut the fuck up.
Customer on TV- They were the most rude crew I have ever hired, and though I'd never hire them again or recommend them to a friend, they didn't talk smooth, they seemed realistic and honest about their work. I didn't feel like they would lie to me even if they lost money. It was rude installation, but it was streetwise talk at least.
Customer on TV- They were respectful and professional when they came to install my shower, I would recommend them to a friend.
Rude shower installation crew- What do ya want us to install a shower for so you can blow your husband in it you fuckin cocksucker? We do what the fuck we want to do to somebody's house, so shut the fuck up.
Customer on TV- They were the most rude crew I have ever hired, and though I'd never hire them again or recommend them to a friend, they didn't talk smooth, they seemed realistic and honest about their work. I didn't feel like they would lie to me even if they lost money. It was rude installation, but it was streetwise talk at least.
by The Original Agahnim November 10, 2021
People don't need to be told who their heroes should be, and they also don't need to be told they only care about people around them if they wear a mask (or a cape for that matter).
You don't need to prove you care about someone by wearing a mask. They are free to think you're selfish asshole if there is any freedom left in what has been described as a free country (though a country where they force people to wear a mask doesn't seem like much of a free country).
by The Original Agahnim June 10, 2021
Like vaccines and testing kits, masks are a source of profit for a few people whenever lots of people start buying them. If you're someone in the business of selling masks, medical supplies, vaccines, or test kits, why wouldn't you want rules to dictate people's lives pushed on them? You can tell them it's a win win for them, meanwhile you make all their money.
New rules and restrictions create a demand for masks that wasn't there before the rules and restrictions. Since a supplier benefits the most from all of this, wouldn't you think the suppliers were the same ones writing the rules, restrictions, guidelines, and laws?
by The Original Agahnim July 29, 2021
Whether a motive is clear or unclear, cops know that somebody has to be motivated to have a motive, that's why they came up with a motive to call it. If it were lazy people doing the killing, it would be called something else, probably something like an unmotive. Possible unmotives might be the guy stole my doritos or smoked my last cigarette, and he knew deep down that he deserved it.
by The Original Agahnim January 26, 2022