Definitions by The JBZ

The Parental Scold 

When you mess up as a kid and your parent says, "I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed" and somehow makes your mistake sound worse.

"I showed up drunk after a high school party once and got the Parental Scold from my dad. It felt worse than my hangover"

The Parental Scold by The JBZ September 21, 2022

Cocaine Fat

A definition of obesity which involves consumption of cocaine in massive amounts. It involves profuse sweating through layer of clothing.

My dad told me the round, sweaty comedian we just met was gonna die soon. He said he was “cocaine fat, be glad you met him.”

Cocaine Fat by The JBZ June 27, 2021

Fat Boy Status

The antithesis of eating a balanced diet. Involves the consumption of extremely fatty foods in mass quantities with extreme satisfaction.

Dude, I drank too much last night so I ate 2 large pizzas, a box of wings, and 8 breadsticks this morning during the Skins game. Total Fat Boy Status.

Fat Boy Status by The JBZ September 6, 2013