The Freedom Eagle's definitions
The freedom eagle is a sexual act performed by a woman on a man to scare him away from all women. The ultimate goal of the freedom eagle is to devote a man to celibacy. To prepare, use a device to play a song by the artist, Toby Keith. In order to perform, the female must assume position on top of the male’s groin and begin to flap her arms mimicking an eagle. Whilst flapping her arms, the female must slap the male across the face and shout “fly motherfucker.” If you are feeling extra free, the female shall put marshmallows in the males mouth and play the game “chubby bunny.” The female should then crumble graham crackers in the males mouth. Additionally, the female can shit in the males mouth for the chocolate addition to make the s’mores triad. If successful, the man will turn to complete celibacy after the trauma.
by The Freedom Eagle November 20, 2025
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