TIME Lincoln's definitions

Procrasterbating

The act of procrastinating by masturbating.

Girlfriend: Jimmy, why didn't you call me last night?

Jimmy: I apologize, I was procrasterbating to your sister's Facebook profile pictures.

by TIME Lincoln March 18, 2011

Blasterbate

The act of masturbating as far as possible into a toilet, urinal or woman's mouth with exacting accuracy.

I was really bored, so I decided stand as far away from the toliet, a.k.a. your mom's mouth, as possible and blasterbate.

by TIME Lincoln March 20, 2011

Problasterbating

The act of procasterbating by blasterbating.

I was so bored so I was problasterbating into the kitchen sink from across the room.

by TIME Lincoln March 18, 2011