Definitions by TIME Lincoln

Blasterbate 

The act of masturbating as far as possible into a toilet, urinal or woman's mouth with exacting accuracy.

I was really bored, so I decided stand as far away from the toliet, a.k.a. your mom's mouth, as possible and blasterbate.

Blasterbate by TIME Lincoln March 20, 2011

Procrasterbating 

The act of procrastinating by masturbating.

Girlfriend: Jimmy, why didn't you call me last night?

Jimmy: I apologize, I was procrasterbating to your sister's Facebook profile pictures.

Procrasterbating by TIME Lincoln March 18, 2011

Problasterbating 

The act of procasterbating by blasterbating.

I was so bored so I was problasterbating into the kitchen sink from across the room.

Problasterbating by TIME Lincoln March 18, 2011