Definitions by Solid Mantis

Ruler ref 

Doesn't know what to say when a measurement turns out to be too close to call.

Ruler ref-Well, I didn't think this would ever happen, but your dicks look the same size. I might not be reading accurately, but they're really close. I didn't think I would ever get readings this close, then again I didn't think I'd ever referee a dick measuring contest, and here I am doing that.

Ruler ref by Solid Mantis June 16, 2018

Fragile

Delicate. Someone who is delicate is fragile.

The girl was fragile growing up, her mother made sure nobody would break her or her soft heart in the cold world.

Fragile by Solid Mantis June 16, 2018

Clown 

A clown is a person who entertains for a living. Anybody not getting paid to entertain, or in the entertainment business is not a clown.

Steve was trying to fuck around with the guy thinking he was a clown and it was okay with him and of course things went wrong when Steve found out the guy was not a clown or an entertainer. Steve had no excuse not to know already though, since the guy was not an entertainer or a performer, and Steve would not have seen him on a stage anywhere, he had no reason to think the guy was a clown.

Clown by Solid Mantis June 16, 2018

Rival

Growing up you had opponents, back when you could break each others bones. Then, opponents became rivals in college. Really rivals and rivalries are for college kids and the ancient Greeks.

The guy had no rival. He sure had some opponents though.

Rival by Solid Mantis June 16, 2018

Meals on wheels

Eating out a paraplegic or a girl in a wheelchair.

Ricky had his meals on wheels today.

Meals on wheels by Solid Mantis June 16, 2018

Narcissist 

A guy with no rivals.

You have opponents? You qualify as a narcissist then, since opponents are not rivals.

Narcissist by Solid Mantis June 16, 2018

Narcissist 

A guy who takes about 32 to 57 selfies standing in his bathroom is the definition of a narcissist, its so obvious.

The guy took 39 selfies in front of his bathroom mirror, if that doesn't make him a narcissist I don't know what does make a narcissist.

Narcissist by Solid Mantis June 16, 2018