Smart American Male's definitions
A daily block of mini sports soap operas packed into one hour. Programming varies each day:
"Keeping Up With The Cowdashians" (Cowboys)
"Patriot Way" (Patriots/Tebow)
"The Quarterbachelor" (Jets)
"Total Dodgers" (Dodgers)
"Red Sock Mountain" (formerly titled "The Red Sox Chronicles")
"Lebrontourage" (Briefly known as "Erik's Angels" after LeBron joined Heat)
"Diary of A Mad Black Mamba" (Lakers)
"As The Club Turns" (Tiger Woods)
"All My Crashes" (Danica Patrick)
"Johnny Football" (this is actually a like short cartoon)
and of course the Emmy award winning "Yankee Country" (Yankees)
Notable defunct shows as followed (with possibilities of each returning not ruled out, obviously):
"Manny Knows Best" (Manny Ramirez)
"The Favre Saga" (Brett Favre)
"The Misadventures of T.O." (Terrell Owens)
"Everybody Hates Barry" (Barry Bonds)
"Ocho Cinco Numero Uno" (Chad Johnson)
"Clemonpatra" (Roger Clemons)
"One Life to Lin" (Jeremy Lin)
"Keeping Up With The Cowdashians" (Cowboys)
"Patriot Way" (Patriots/Tebow)
"The Quarterbachelor" (Jets)
"Total Dodgers" (Dodgers)
"Red Sock Mountain" (formerly titled "The Red Sox Chronicles")
"Lebrontourage" (Briefly known as "Erik's Angels" after LeBron joined Heat)
"Diary of A Mad Black Mamba" (Lakers)
"As The Club Turns" (Tiger Woods)
"All My Crashes" (Danica Patrick)
"Johnny Football" (this is actually a like short cartoon)
and of course the Emmy award winning "Yankee Country" (Yankees)
Notable defunct shows as followed (with possibilities of each returning not ruled out, obviously):
"Manny Knows Best" (Manny Ramirez)
"The Favre Saga" (Brett Favre)
"The Misadventures of T.O." (Terrell Owens)
"Everybody Hates Barry" (Barry Bonds)
"Ocho Cinco Numero Uno" (Chad Johnson)
"Clemonpatra" (Roger Clemons)
"One Life to Lin" (Jeremy Lin)
Viewer: PLEASE can you please cover some actual sports?
Anchor: I don't know what you're getting at. This isn't sports, it's SportsCenter.
Anchor: I don't know what you're getting at. This isn't sports, it's SportsCenter.
by Smart American Male September 5, 2013
Get the SportsCentermug. Time to clean the slate on the LeBron James definition. A pathetic, ego driven traitor and the main villain of the NBA. His departure to the Heat was truly disgraceful to Cleveland. He decided to announce his move in a classless fashion which is a big fuck you, with no proper goodbye to Cleveland. He whines about not winning rings when in reality he wants to play with 2 of his butt buddies. His explanation for all of this was a lie.
Queen James' decision to sign with the Heat happened to be planned out since 2008, when his boyfriends, Dwyane Fade and Christy Bosh were on the U.S. team in the Olympics. Turns out LeBron could have gotten a championship with the Cavs, he just decided to quit like a fucking bitch in the playoffs (2009 vs Magic; 2010 vs Celtics.). The 3 lovers decided to join forces today all because they were pulverizing countries who don't give a squirt of piss about basketball.
He didn't wake up the morning of his decision day and talk with his mother about it. Your mother would sure as hell not be okay with you blowing up half of a U.S. state to kingdom come including where you live just to get a small piece of plastic around your finger.
And thus his lack of backbone and machismo proves himself as not a knight but a knave, not a leader but a follower, not a winner but a loser! And not only that Cleveland and Akron hate him now but so do the other teams, realizing his free agency was a fucking rig. He's never going to be on par with Jordan and Kobe.
Queen James' decision to sign with the Heat happened to be planned out since 2008, when his boyfriends, Dwyane Fade and Christy Bosh were on the U.S. team in the Olympics. Turns out LeBron could have gotten a championship with the Cavs, he just decided to quit like a fucking bitch in the playoffs (2009 vs Magic; 2010 vs Celtics.). The 3 lovers decided to join forces today all because they were pulverizing countries who don't give a squirt of piss about basketball.
He didn't wake up the morning of his decision day and talk with his mother about it. Your mother would sure as hell not be okay with you blowing up half of a U.S. state to kingdom come including where you live just to get a small piece of plastic around your finger.
And thus his lack of backbone and machismo proves himself as not a knight but a knave, not a leader but a follower, not a winner but a loser! And not only that Cleveland and Akron hate him now but so do the other teams, realizing his free agency was a fucking rig. He's never going to be on par with Jordan and Kobe.
Miami fan: HAHAHA WE GOT LeBron James and Cleveland sucks!
Cleveland fan: Nooooo. Now that you got LeBron, Miami sucks. Oh and they just lost again. Throw another jersey on the fire.
Cleveland fan: Nooooo. Now that you got LeBron, Miami sucks. Oh and they just lost again. Throw another jersey on the fire.
by Smart American Male July 11, 2010
Get the LeBron Jamesmug. A male or female with various gimmicks & can be very unpredictable sometimes. They dress in goth/punk clothing, are expected to abuse drugs, & are very bipolar at times & may holler something in your face when you least expect it. Just punch them in the face or take a picture of them while they holler, to prevent another similar incident.
"Oh man nigga it was mad stupid! The alley was like full--"
"Hey buddy...wanna rock with me?"
"...What?!"
"BLAARGUWSHINDUHIFF!"
"Man you freak us out! Now piss off! Damn freaker!"
"Hey buddy...wanna rock with me?"
"...What?!"
"BLAARGUWSHINDUHIFF!"
"Man you freak us out! Now piss off! Damn freaker!"
by Smart American Male September 10, 2006
Get the freakermug. A drugged up harpy and the acting equivalent to Ke$ha who somehow tranced into numerous alternate universes until she found the one that was able to land her in a life with other "a-list" actresses. Except there's something that's missing. Oh, right...talent. She never took any acting lessons or went to any talent schools or agencies. She can only run 2 miles per hour and just has a 3 inch vertical leap. Many were to believe she would be the one to captivate the box office. Well Michael Bay, you picked the wrong bitch and now it has costed us middle class people dearly. If Hollywood was the way it was 10 years ago, she would not make it. And what we heard from Transformers crew members and Mickey Rourke, she's unqualified to be acting. Unfortunately it doesn't matter, because she's set to kill a bunch of franchises in the future.
Film Agent: Well, you're just about set to be a big "star". Anything we need to know before we proceed?
Megan Fox: Well I got a lot of plastic surgery.
Film Agent: That's 'kay.
Megan Fox: And I can't read.
Film Agent: That's 'kay.
Megan Fox: And I'm a pot addict.
Film Agent: That's 'kay.
Megan Fox: And I got an inflated ego. Like I'm a real big bitch and I want to do things MY way, even if it would turn the whole project around. And I doubt I'll make any friends or be a great role model.
Film Agent: That's 'kay.
Megan Fox: And I intend to bring a weapon to one of my movies sets.
Film Agent: That's 'kay.
Megan Fox: Oh and I REALLY HATE acting.
Film Agent: That's 'kay. Is that it, otherwise congratulations YOU'VE MADE IT!!!
Megan Fox: Well I got a lot of plastic surgery.
Film Agent: That's 'kay.
Megan Fox: And I can't read.
Film Agent: That's 'kay.
Megan Fox: And I'm a pot addict.
Film Agent: That's 'kay.
Megan Fox: And I got an inflated ego. Like I'm a real big bitch and I want to do things MY way, even if it would turn the whole project around. And I doubt I'll make any friends or be a great role model.
Film Agent: That's 'kay.
Megan Fox: And I intend to bring a weapon to one of my movies sets.
Film Agent: That's 'kay.
Megan Fox: Oh and I REALLY HATE acting.
Film Agent: That's 'kay. Is that it, otherwise congratulations YOU'VE MADE IT!!!
by Smart American Male May 31, 2010
Get the Megan Foxmug.