Smart American Male's definitions
by Smart American Male May 3, 2006
Get the thudmug. 1. A poorly formatted league with the dumbest fans and dumbest officials that makes it the worst sport ever. It's consisted of 162 long tedious games with no time limit, whereas the "postseason" only lasts about a week long. The objective of the game is to hit a ball with a bat and guide your fellow Dominicans to home plate without getting out. But the real objective is to make the most money than any other player. Players are allowed to create buzz by talking trash, being a distraction, juicing up, and any other idiotic actions to attract the media.
2. "America's favorite past time".
3. "The Dominican Republic and Puerto Rico's favorite present time".
4. A sports league made up of 29 teams and one over-dramatic news tycoon (NYY).
5. An overrated drama queen of a sport. They care so much that Bud Selig pays ESPN to cover the MLB 24/7, even during the offseason. Whenever ESPN doesn't highlight any games, they whine like little bitches about the Yankees, the Red Sox, the Mets, Manny Ramirez, Ozzie Guillen, steroid scandals, retired players in investigations, and any other bullshit they can think of.
6. A method to make a load of money by barely doing anything at all. Such notable activities include standing on a grass field, sitting in a dugout, running 90 feet, running 10 feet to grab the baseball, standing on a small white bag, doing a couple of silly movements to throw the ball really fast to a teammate standing just 50 feet away, and many many more adrenalating activities. Of course, those other players don't get much money for running back and forth every play trying to swerve past other guys and lob the ball in an orange ring, or trying to carry the ball for about 300 feet at the expense that you get knocked down every play. Sure, I believe you.
2. "America's favorite past time".
3. "The Dominican Republic and Puerto Rico's favorite present time".
4. A sports league made up of 29 teams and one over-dramatic news tycoon (NYY).
5. An overrated drama queen of a sport. They care so much that Bud Selig pays ESPN to cover the MLB 24/7, even during the offseason. Whenever ESPN doesn't highlight any games, they whine like little bitches about the Yankees, the Red Sox, the Mets, Manny Ramirez, Ozzie Guillen, steroid scandals, retired players in investigations, and any other bullshit they can think of.
6. A method to make a load of money by barely doing anything at all. Such notable activities include standing on a grass field, sitting in a dugout, running 90 feet, running 10 feet to grab the baseball, standing on a small white bag, doing a couple of silly movements to throw the ball really fast to a teammate standing just 50 feet away, and many many more adrenalating activities. Of course, those other players don't get much money for running back and forth every play trying to swerve past other guys and lob the ball in an orange ring, or trying to carry the ball for about 300 feet at the expense that you get knocked down every play. Sure, I believe you.
1. The MLB sucks.
2. US Citizen: I used to like the MLB. Wow, was I such a stupid, stupid kid.
3. Islander: Like baseball is our religion! Every day we go to the church to pray to Babe Ruth.
4. Yankee fan: The Yankees are the best team EVER! Like they land all the good players and shit, and I'm oblivious to why that is. But I heard they are all great in bed, according to ESPN, so that must make them great players!
5. ESPN anchor: Did you know that there are 5 pitchers that homered in a 1-0 game? Just how stupid is this stat?! Nawmally good!
This just in, Sportscenter ratings sink 100% after covering their 30th straight hour on A-Rod's personal crisis.
6. Derek Jeter: LOL Hockey sucks! Even though I won't last three minutes in an ice rink. I have no penis.
2. US Citizen: I used to like the MLB. Wow, was I such a stupid, stupid kid.
3. Islander: Like baseball is our religion! Every day we go to the church to pray to Babe Ruth.
4. Yankee fan: The Yankees are the best team EVER! Like they land all the good players and shit, and I'm oblivious to why that is. But I heard they are all great in bed, according to ESPN, so that must make them great players!
5. ESPN anchor: Did you know that there are 5 pitchers that homered in a 1-0 game? Just how stupid is this stat?! Nawmally good!
This just in, Sportscenter ratings sink 100% after covering their 30th straight hour on A-Rod's personal crisis.
6. Derek Jeter: LOL Hockey sucks! Even though I won't last three minutes in an ice rink. I have no penis.
by Smart American Male May 3, 2009
Get the MLBmug. A drugged up harpy and the acting equivalent to Ke$ha who somehow tranced into numerous alternate universes until she found the one that was able to land her in a life with other "a-list" actresses. Except there's something that's missing. Oh, right...talent. She never took any acting lessons or went to any talent schools or agencies. She can only run 2 miles per hour and just has a 3 inch vertical leap. Many were to believe she would be the one to captivate the box office. Well Michael Bay, you picked the wrong bitch and now it has costed us middle class people dearly. If Hollywood was the way it was 10 years ago, she would not make it. And what we heard from Transformers crew members and Mickey Rourke, she's unqualified to be acting. Unfortunately it doesn't matter, because she's set to kill a bunch of franchises in the future.
Film Agent: Well, you're just about set to be a big "star". Anything we need to know before we proceed?
Megan Fox: Well I got a lot of plastic surgery.
Film Agent: That's 'kay.
Megan Fox: And I can't read.
Film Agent: That's 'kay.
Megan Fox: And I'm a pot addict.
Film Agent: That's 'kay.
Megan Fox: And I got an inflated ego. Like I'm a real big bitch and I want to do things MY way, even if it would turn the whole project around. And I doubt I'll make any friends or be a great role model.
Film Agent: That's 'kay.
Megan Fox: And I intend to bring a weapon to one of my movies sets.
Film Agent: That's 'kay.
Megan Fox: Oh and I REALLY HATE acting.
Film Agent: That's 'kay. Is that it, otherwise congratulations YOU'VE MADE IT!!!
Megan Fox: Well I got a lot of plastic surgery.
Film Agent: That's 'kay.
Megan Fox: And I can't read.
Film Agent: That's 'kay.
Megan Fox: And I'm a pot addict.
Film Agent: That's 'kay.
Megan Fox: And I got an inflated ego. Like I'm a real big bitch and I want to do things MY way, even if it would turn the whole project around. And I doubt I'll make any friends or be a great role model.
Film Agent: That's 'kay.
Megan Fox: And I intend to bring a weapon to one of my movies sets.
Film Agent: That's 'kay.
Megan Fox: Oh and I REALLY HATE acting.
Film Agent: That's 'kay. Is that it, otherwise congratulations YOU'VE MADE IT!!!
by Smart American Male May 31, 2010
Get the Megan Foxmug. Time to clean the slate on the LeBron James definition. A pathetic, ego driven traitor and the main villain of the NBA. His departure to the Heat was truly disgraceful to Cleveland. He decided to announce his move in a classless fashion which is a big fuck you, with no proper goodbye to Cleveland. He whines about not winning rings when in reality he wants to play with 2 of his butt buddies. His explanation for all of this was a lie.
Queen James' decision to sign with the Heat happened to be planned out since 2008, when his boyfriends, Dwyane Fade and Christy Bosh were on the U.S. team in the Olympics. Turns out LeBron could have gotten a championship with the Cavs, he just decided to quit like a fucking bitch in the playoffs (2009 vs Magic; 2010 vs Celtics.). The 3 lovers decided to join forces today all because they were pulverizing countries who don't give a squirt of piss about basketball.
He didn't wake up the morning of his decision day and talk with his mother about it. Your mother would sure as hell not be okay with you blowing up half of a U.S. state to kingdom come including where you live just to get a small piece of plastic around your finger.
And thus his lack of backbone and machismo proves himself as not a knight but a knave, not a leader but a follower, not a winner but a loser! And not only that Cleveland and Akron hate him now but so do the other teams, realizing his free agency was a fucking rig. He's never going to be on par with Jordan and Kobe.
Queen James' decision to sign with the Heat happened to be planned out since 2008, when his boyfriends, Dwyane Fade and Christy Bosh were on the U.S. team in the Olympics. Turns out LeBron could have gotten a championship with the Cavs, he just decided to quit like a fucking bitch in the playoffs (2009 vs Magic; 2010 vs Celtics.). The 3 lovers decided to join forces today all because they were pulverizing countries who don't give a squirt of piss about basketball.
He didn't wake up the morning of his decision day and talk with his mother about it. Your mother would sure as hell not be okay with you blowing up half of a U.S. state to kingdom come including where you live just to get a small piece of plastic around your finger.
And thus his lack of backbone and machismo proves himself as not a knight but a knave, not a leader but a follower, not a winner but a loser! And not only that Cleveland and Akron hate him now but so do the other teams, realizing his free agency was a fucking rig. He's never going to be on par with Jordan and Kobe.
Miami fan: HAHAHA WE GOT LeBron James and Cleveland sucks!
Cleveland fan: Nooooo. Now that you got LeBron, Miami sucks. Oh and they just lost again. Throw another jersey on the fire.
Cleveland fan: Nooooo. Now that you got LeBron, Miami sucks. Oh and they just lost again. Throw another jersey on the fire.
by Smart American Male July 11, 2010
Get the LeBron Jamesmug.