5 definitions by Sgt. Montechristo
This can be used as a “harmless” practical joke on one of your buddies, if someone leaves a kiwi on their desk. You take the kiwi and place it down your pants and try to hold it under your scrotum. At this point you do a little jig to bless the kiwi. The sweatier the better. Then place the kiwi back on the desk. The enjoyment comes when the target cuts up their kiwi to eat and the juice drips all over the place causing them to lick their fingers clean.
Target: Hey guys I know you paid for lunch lasttime and its my turn, but I already brought a lunch, so go ahead and go without me.
Guy #1: I am so tired of him ditching out on his turn to pay.
Guy #2: Well, lets help him enjoy his lunch and bless it with Pope’s Salty Kiwi.
Guy #1: I will never be able to look at a kiwi the same again…
Guy #1: I am so tired of him ditching out on his turn to pay.
Guy #2: Well, lets help him enjoy his lunch and bless it with Pope’s Salty Kiwi.
Guy #1: I will never be able to look at a kiwi the same again…
by Sgt. Montechristo October 2, 2007
When an active duty male is trying to have sex with a hot active duty female and a superior female officer enters the barracks and the active duty male soldier must then have sex with the older, uglier higher ranking female to prevent a dishonorable discharge, with his own undesirable discharge.
Sgt: Damn, I saw you walk off with Sgt Hottie last night.
TSggt: Yeah, we snuck back to her bunk and got busy, but then Captain Hag walked in on us and I had to pull a Bucca Fuddrucker.
Sgt:Shit was that even worth it.
TSsgt: Hell yea the lights were off.
TSggt: Yeah, we snuck back to her bunk and got busy, but then Captain Hag walked in on us and I had to pull a Bucca Fuddrucker.
Sgt:Shit was that even worth it.
TSsgt: Hell yea the lights were off.
by Sgt. Montechristo October 1, 2007
Short for controlled detonation which occurs when you are having intercourse and are not using protection. Just prior to climax you pull out and transfer the shaft to a secured location in the females mouth. Once the lips have formed a complete seal you release the ejaculation without fear of pregnancy or a sticky mess with stubborn stains. This provides protection to the cervix, eyes, nostrils and external auditory meatuses...or meati whatever. Loss of control can occur with premature evacuation.
Guy #1: So you took off with that chick last night, how did things go?
Guy #2: Well, things went great, we got going, but then I realized we didn't have any condoms.
Guy #1: So what did you do, you give up.
Guy #2: Hell no, I just pulled out and went for a controlled det.
Guy #1: Totally, no muss no fuss.
Guy #2: Well, things went great, we got going, but then I realized we didn't have any condoms.
Guy #1: So what did you do, you give up.
Guy #2: Hell no, I just pulled out and went for a controlled det.
Guy #1: Totally, no muss no fuss.
by Sgt. Montechristo October 2, 2007
This is a completely heterosexual phenomenon that occurs in male only showers during military deployments, or even at the local YMCA. A man will finish his shower and instead of drying off in the shower, or drying off at all, he will proceed to shave, brush his teeth, comb his hair, clip his fingernails, floss etc before placing on even a single stitch of clothing. The most blatant example is when they will straddle a bench and begin a converstation with a perfect stranger. Usually over manly things such as football scores or weight lifting. The predominant explanation for this behavior is that of closet homosexuals seeking like minded citizens or who enjoy simple exhibitionism. This is akin to the "wide stance" in the urinal or stall.
Guy #1: Hey that was a great shower...I noticed you do the Bucca Drip Dry.
Guy #2: Yeah, I'm not shy, if you know what I mean.
Guy #1: I think I know exactly what you mean. Hey will you be at the showers the same time tomorrow?
Guy #2: You know it.
Guy #1: Hey, maybe we can do some calf raises sometime?
Guy #2: Great, thought you'd never ask!
Guy #2: Yeah, I'm not shy, if you know what I mean.
Guy #1: I think I know exactly what you mean. Hey will you be at the showers the same time tomorrow?
Guy #2: You know it.
Guy #1: Hey, maybe we can do some calf raises sometime?
Guy #2: Great, thought you'd never ask!
by Sgt. Montechristo October 2, 2007
This is merely an exercise, not a sexual act in any way, it does not have any homosexual connotation at all. This is simply an ingenious way of doing calf raises. The calf raiser, or bull, will bend over with his armpits resting on a weight bar without weights on a flat bench. Then the spotter, or rider, will mount the calf raiser and straddle him directly above the buttocks. He will then lock his legs around the other mans lower torso. Then he places his hands on his hips and prepares to ride, in a completely heterosexual way. The Calf raiser will then begin to do calf raises with his partner as the weight. The partner will need to move his hips in a rythmic fasion in order to maintain balance while riding. He may opt to place both hands behind his head to change the muscle groups worked while he tries to maintain his balance. This is thought to be much more effective than the numerous machines made for this specific exercise that can have the weight adjusted with ease. It is a great workout and a great way to meet other completely heterosexual males with similar interests.
Guy #1: Hey I watched you drip dry in the shower today, you're gluts are awesome.
Guy #2: Yeah, thanks!
Guy #1: But you're calves could use a workout, maybe I could help you with that, how 'bout some Brokeback Bucca calf raises tomorrow?
Guy #2: You're on...right on.
Guy #2: Yeah, thanks!
Guy #1: But you're calves could use a workout, maybe I could help you with that, how 'bout some Brokeback Bucca calf raises tomorrow?
Guy #2: You're on...right on.
by Sgt. Montechristo October 2, 2007