Scotty Nice's definitions

Mickey’s hat of despair

When you take your family to the magical world of Disney and spend five days in scorching ball dripping heat, getting run over by heifers in electric scooters and spending more than half your salary on Mickey shaped treats while getting in two rides a day and all you come away with is a hat with a picture of that mother fucker on the front.

My husband was so angry when we were finally leaving Disney that to commemorate the financial destruction we had just gone though he decided to buy one last thing, Mickey’s hat of despair. I’m not sure we will ever recover.

by Scotty Nice June 16, 2023

Stiff as a Ball

When you see someone hitting a golf ball and you feel bad for them because you assume they have prosthetic legs. Their ability to flex and move their lower extremities is so bad that you imagine they were hit by a train as a child or had polio because their parents were anti-vaxxers.

So I was watching this guy tee off the other day and I felt so sad thinking of what happened to them as a child. Then I watched them walk away and it was perfectly normal. He was stiff as a ball hitting a golf shot, but walked fine. Really bizarre, must be at least a 10 handicap without an actual handicap.

by Scotty Nice July 27, 2023

Christine's cum filled Cribbage

When a man is able to achieve his three greatest pleasures in one sitting by reading a Stephen King novel, playing online cribbage and having your butthole filled with man mayo.

I was talking to my buddy and learned he loves three things - reading Stephen King novels, playing cribbage and getting butt fucked. He then proceeded to tell me for some reason that after he got home one night and his family was out of town, he picked up and started to read Christine by Stephen King, played online cribbage and then had a male prostitute given him a prostate exam with his erect wiener. He succeeded in getting Christine's cum filled Cribbage. Wild stuff.

by Scotty Nice October 18, 2023

T Shirt Tuck

When a man, even though he had a vasectomy, has to pull out in order not to leave his wife dripping for the next 12 hours and she doesn’t want it on her gut. The husband must take an old white undershirt and “tuck it” under her ass, creating a canvas for his man juice.

Fucking Trudie man. I got a vasectomy and she still won’t let me bust up in her puss. I have to use the t shirt tuck so I don’t get it on or in her.

by Scotty Nice October 26, 2019

Arnglo Saxon

An extremely large human, some may even say a goon, that is whiter than baby powder that has a high tolerance for being insulted, until they don’t. When an Arnglo Saxon hits their breaking point, their special ed strength bursts and is capable of tearing a smaller human’s legs and arms off in less than a minute.

I was giving Wayne a bunch of shit on the course and he almost went over the edge, but I calmed him down with some Belvitas. If he had gone Arnglo Saxon I would’ve been killed.

by Scotty Nice January 30, 2021

Tanner Tranner

A former woman whose last name was Tanner who got sober and realized she was a man inside. Ms. Tanner then took hormones, grew a beard and changed her first name to Tanner in an attempt to fool the members of her local golf course. After fleecing her for her life savings they allowed “him” to play from the ladies tees.

I played Tanner Tranner from the men’s tees yesterday and won all of “their” paycheck from last week.

by Scotty Nice November 20, 2019

Daniel-San

The two strokes after the Sexy Slide where you put your hammer in and out twice while simultaneously honking her nose with your knuckles and making an audible “honk, honk” noise.

Yo last night Trudie and I was gettin to it and I gave her the Daniel-San right after the Sexy Slide. I honked so loud the neighbors thought Ringling was in town.

by Scotty Nice September 5, 2019