Definitions by Scotty Nice
Ecuadorian Pat Smear
When a chubby Ecuadorian convinces a questionable lady he is a doctor, then brings her back to his penthouse and performs an extremely short (literally) procedure on her lady parts. After the embarrassingly short act, he tells her she’s all clear and sends her on her way.
Oh man, don’t tell me you pulled the Ecuadorian Pat Smear ruse again. I hope you told her she had a clean bill of health before the “exam” , because she won’t after.
Ecuadorian Pat Smear by Scotty Nice May 18, 2022
Pearl Jammed
When you find out your friend, who loves Pearl Jam, likes when his wife jams a strand of fake pearls up his ass and yanks them out before entering him from behind with a dildo.
Pearl Jammed by Scotty Nice February 6, 2021
Arnglo Saxon
An extremely large human, some may even say a goon, that is whiter than baby powder that has a high tolerance for being insulted, until they don’t. When an Arnglo Saxon hits their breaking point, their special ed strength bursts and is capable of tearing a smaller human’s legs and arms off in less than a minute.
I was giving Wayne a bunch of shit on the course and he almost went over the edge, but I calmed him down with some Belvitas. If he had gone Arnglo Saxon I would’ve been killed.
Arnglo Saxon by Scotty Nice January 30, 2021
Polish pencil push
As a firefighter you respond to an scene where a Polish man who speaks no English is pointing toward his backside indicating pain. The 14 year old girl next door speaks English and translates for you.
Excuse me, 14 year old girl. Can you tell us what he’s saying? In broken English she responds, “He says he has a pencil stuck up his bum.” Ah, a polish pencil push, never get tired of seeing this.
Polish pencil push by Scotty Nice January 14, 2021
McLend me a Hand
When your Irish buddy and you go to the park after dark after hitting puberty to jerk off and you end up behind the same bush by accident. He then asks you for assistance with his stiffy.
McLend me a Hand by Scotty Nice January 14, 2021
Peony Push
A drink invented by your golf buddy that has double the alcohol content of a Long Island Iced Tea and garnished with his favorite flower, the Peony. It was created because his wife gets turned on by wearing a strap on and anally penetrating him. He gets embarrassed so he needs to get intoxicated to do it, even though it turns him on, as well.
Hey Bryan, want to go grab a beer tonight after golf? Sure thing, if you want to go with me to the Tailgate Tavern while I pound a couple Peony Pushes. Trudie wants to do the thing we do tonight and I need to get lubed up, in more ways than one.
Peony Push by Scotty Nice December 11, 2020