2 definitions by Satan Johnson
The holy deity of Christianity, who's portrayal in the Holy Bible is a plagiarism of many preceding religions; most notably, Egyptian mythology. Jesus was no different from any of his followers or anyone before or after his time, yet the Christian Church, for want of money and a brainwashed public, teach his messages worldwide, and even go as far as to have their followers travel abroad as missionaries to attempt to persuade completely content people to throw aside all they have ever believed in to accept these new religious beliefs. Indeed, the death of Jesus the average Jew has drawn in billions of dollars to the Church, who, in turn, pays no taxes. In the words of George Carlin: "Religion easily has the best bullshit story of all time."
Me: "Hey man, why do you believe in Jesus?"
Ignorant Christian: "Because that's just how I was raised, and I, being the archetypal Christian, have forever sealed off my mind from alternate religious standpoints."
Ignorant Christian: "Because that's just how I was raised, and I, being the archetypal Christian, have forever sealed off my mind from alternate religious standpoints."
by Satan Johnson March 20, 2008
The small, dry pieces of a bag of low-quality cannabis known as schwag, that collect and reside at the bottom of your bag until you're left with nothing but these small pieces. At this point, you are left with a bag of schwake. A very unrecommended choice by which to get high.
The word is a portmanteau of schwag and shake.
The word is a portmanteau of schwag and shake.
"Hey, it's your hit on the bowl of schwake."
"No thanks, I would prefer to not nauseate myself by smoking that disgraceful excuse for a bowl."
"No thanks, I would prefer to not nauseate myself by smoking that disgraceful excuse for a bowl."
by Satan Johnson May 17, 2008