Dirty Nigel

To deliver an oversized mechanic’s index finger into the naughty balloon knot of your lover as she bends over to pick up your shooting brogues.

“Carol my dear, would you mind awfully grabbing my shooting attire from the back door and placing them on the drying rack for me”

“of course not Nigel my darling…..……JESUS CHRIST!! Is that your finger or a coke can that’s just tickled my spleen from the basement entrance?!?! It felt like someone just used me as a guitar case.”

“Oh Carol, you do make me laugh. I just saw your delightful rear end calling to me through that Cath Kitson dress and I felt compelled to deliver a good old Dirty Nigel to you bum-hoolio. Love you”

“Love you too you cheeky monkey”

by Rachel1980 August 09, 2025

dirty craddy

For a gentleman to liberally apply his post-coital smegma to the eyelids of his sleeping lover so that come the dawn, when she wakes, she firstly thinks she has had a great nights sleep, and then secondly, as she wipes them, the salt rehydrates and slips into her eyes, thus making her seemingly cry - from which one may take secondary satisfaction from the fact your kin-folk will believe she is heart-broken to leave - all red eyed and teary.

“If I may be so bold, sir, I saw Lady Claire leaving your chambers earlier. She looked rather upset with red eyes. You really are a heart-breaker sir”

“Nah, I just gave her the ol’dirty Craddy Tony, but don’t tell anyone”

“Legend, sir. Legend”

by Rachel1980 June 24, 2023

dirty nev

To lace an unsuspecting friends drink with a shot of fresh semen. Usually done to a drink such as Baileys, Tequila Rose or Guinness where the consistency can be hidden better.

“Jesus Christ Tony, I think Carl has Dirty Nev’d me. That Baileys went down like a salty raw egg”.

by Rachel1980 June 21, 2023