2 definitions by Purgamate
Our culture has phrases for various stages of a relationship: When a couple gets engaged they are fiancés, when married they are spouses, if divorced they are an ex-wife or ex-husband. Until now, when someone is ending their marriage - but is not yet completely divorced - there has been no word for it. Purgamate is a descriptive title or reference for a man or woman whose divorce is pending and is just waiting to get it over with already. Purgamate is gender neutral and not meant to be used as a negative term - it is a much needed word that has been missing from our culture.
How many times have you had to introduce your soon-to-be Ex as your spouse, and cringe at the sound of the word as it exits your mouth? Saying it, "this is Sue, my wife", "this is Steve, my husband" (always with an eye roll) absolutely sends the wrong message! You find yourself having to say, well we are getting a divorce, and then having to tell some descriptive story. What an awkward moment! Finally, you can introduce your soon-to-be Ex, as your Purgamate and everyone will get it and leave you alone! Although, you may sometimes want to tell a funny story...
by Purgamate October 17, 2013
Purgamatory is the period of time between marriage and divorce. Once a married person has declared that they are getting a divorce they become a Purgamate and enter Purgamtory. Purgamatory and Purgamate are used as the reverse terms of engagement or fiancé. Once these words are adopted everybody would know what you are talking about quickly. Just a couple of simple, non-derogatory, extremely descriptive words to add to our vocabulary.
By using these words, people will instantly know you're in the process of divorce without asking, and you can choose to talk more about it or not get into it. We no longer have to find ourselves in a position where we feel the need to explain the messy details - and avoid getting emotional or feeling weird when we talk about it, because it's an uncomfortable situation. Now we have a word for it, and can refrain from saying 'woe is me, I'm getting divorced...'
By using these words, people will instantly know you're in the process of divorce without asking, and you can choose to talk more about it or not get into it. We no longer have to find ourselves in a position where we feel the need to explain the messy details - and avoid getting emotional or feeling weird when we talk about it, because it's an uncomfortable situation. Now we have a word for it, and can refrain from saying 'woe is me, I'm getting divorced...'
People getting divorces are faced with having to describe their miserable situation because there has been no name for this period of time. In all other periods of the relationship lifecycle people can say one word and everybody gets the idea. Chris got married, Paul got engaged, Sally got divorced etc. Now, you can say 'Pete is in purgamatory, and people will get it, and understand the situation without you having to go into the miserable, painful details every single time.
by Purgamate October 17, 2013