Tuition

1. An imaginary number invented by college administrators to inspire fear in middle-class parents and new students.

2. An enormous fee that automatically rises at 3 times the rate of inflation.

3. The catch-all term for huge sums of money that young pepole start paying at age 18 or 19. Payments usually continue for the next 10-20 years.
College President: "What should Tuition be next year?"

Comptroller: "Let's me see... $38,000 has a nice ring to it. Of course, we always tack on another $6,000 in fees just for fun, not to mention mandatory health insurance and thost textbooks that cost $100 a pop."

College President: "Can we make it $39,000?"

Comptroller: "Why not? Works for me!"
by Peter Kobs February 12, 2010
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Spillonomics

1. A scientific way to calculate the true costs of massive oil spills, such as the BP Deepwater Horizon disaster in the Gulf of Mexico.

Spillonomics was conceived shortly after the 1989 Exxon Valdez spill in Prince William Sound, Alaska. Sadly, it has become a major growth industry in the last 21 years.

Unlike other methods favored by the petroleum industry, Spillonomics takes into account both short-term clean-up costs AND long-term costs related to marine ecosystems, tourism, fishing, coastal employment, real estate values and water quality.

2. Dick Cheney's latest nightmare.
I'm majoring in Spillonomics. My uncle at Halliburton is livid. Serves him right!
by Peter Kobs June 01, 2010
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Twitter Critter

1. A person who spends WAY too much time on Twitter, to the detriment of his or her job, family, friends and/or mental health.
2. A cell-phone Twitter texting maniac.
3. Someone who believes they are the center of the universe, despite abundant evidence to the contrary.
Tim has become a Twitter Critter. He can't keep anything private anymore. I wish he'd get a life!
by Peter Kobs August 05, 2009
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Palinoid

1. A version of paranoia associated with former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, who recently announced that health care reform will create "death lists" of people to be killed by the government.

2. Anyone who embraces the delusional, hate-filled ravings of Sarah Palin.

cf. Birther, John Birch Society, conspiracy cults
Marvin has become a true Palinoid. He thinks Obama is an Indonesian terrorist trying to poison us through telekinetic Swine flu contagion. I think he's been listening to Sarah Palin too much on Fox News.
by Peter Kobs August 09, 2009
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Book Crook

Someone who makes money by stealing books from the local public library, then reselling them online, after removing the security tags and identifying marks.
The book crooks wiped out our entire collection of automotive repair manuals.
by Peter Kobs February 08, 2009
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Degifting

1. A mutual agreement to suspend holiday gifts for at least one season, usually within a single family or circle of friends.

2. The act of replacing useless and pointless merchandise with something more meaningful, such as a charitable donation, service project or holiday party.

3. Wal-Mart's biggest nightmare.
Due to the recession, we've decided that Degifting is the best plan for Christmas this year. Instead, we're all getting together to serve food at the homeless shelter. I really don't need another Salad Shooter. Do you?
by Peter Kobs December 21, 2009
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Notirement

1. The new era of "no retirement" for Baby Boomers who lost big on Wall Street; 2. The unpleasant choice between ceaseless work and late-life poverty.
After the market crashed in '08, Jane started planning for her notirement years.
by Peter Kobs February 01, 2009
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