Gratitude Deficiency

Gratitude Deficiency
noun | /ˈgratɪˌt(j)u d dɪˈfɪʃənsi/

Definition:
A severe emotional disorder where the patient consistently forgets that other people have feelings, limits, or lives of their own. Often mistaken for narcissism’s awkward little cousin, Gratitude Deficiency is characterized by an inability to say "thank you," show appreciation, or acknowledge help unless there’s an audience—or a threat of abandonment.

Known carriers:
People who only appear when they need something, emotionally spoiled exes, and anyone who acts like your support is their birthright.

Symptoms include:
• Emotional Amnesia: Forgets everything you’ve done for them the moment you say “no” once.
• “Thanks, but Actually…” Reflex
• Apology Avoidance Syndrome: Can’t say “thank you” or “I’m sorry,” but will say “I didn’t ask you to” like it’s a Get-Out-of-Empathy-Free card.
• Guilt-Trip Gaslighting: Makes you feel bad for helping them, and somehow worse when you stop.
• Getting offended by being reminded they’re not, in fact, the center of the universe

Common side effects:
• Contact List Shrinkage – people stop replying for “no reason”
• Support Frostbite – others grow cold from overuse
• Thankless Reflex – physically incapable of gratitude
• Chronic Isolation – suddenly surrounded by silence, but still the loudest victim

Treatment options:
• Heavy doses of accountability
• Deep emotional exfoliation via rejection
• Empathy injections (may cause temporary humility and mild nausea)
Person 1- "Dude, why is she such a raging cunt ? Bitch didn't even say thank-you !!"

Person 2- "Haven't you heard ? She got diagnosed with Gratitude Deficiency, and that shit's incurable !"
Person 1- "...So, she's gonna be a cunt forever ?!"
Person 2- "I'm afraid so....thank God it's not contagious, or we'd all be totally screwed !!"
by Mrs.Get.Dough June 02, 2025
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