This is where, during sexual intercourse, the male participant would put his penis (or "hot pocket") into any orifice his partner may possess (in this case, this is known as the "microwave"). At this point, he and his partner would remain as still as possible in this position, with his hot pocket in his/her microwave, until his hot pocket would soften, fully thawed by the microwave. After this, both participants would be expected to go to sleep and/or weep silently.
Person 1: I walked in on my dad and my mom hot pocketing last night.
Person 2: Damn, how was it?
Person 1: Awesome, I wanna try it on my dog.
Person 2: Damn, how was it?
Person 1: Awesome, I wanna try it on my dog.
by MadCow789 April 06, 2015
This is when a man masturbates over someone's sleeping face, and, after ejaculating on his/her face, he would proceed to trim his pubic hair over his/her face, now sticky with drying semen. Therefore, the falling pubic hair, freshly trimmed from the man's genitalia, would stick to the person's face, hence giving the person a "beard", of sorts, similar to a lumberjack's.
Person 1: Man I tried lumberjacking my girlfriend, and she filed a restraining order against me.
Person 2: That slut. Don't worry about it, she's not worthy of a beard anyway.
Person 2: That slut. Don't worry about it, she's not worthy of a beard anyway.
by MadCow789 April 05, 2015