1 definition by Loyal Utah Kid
The International Baccalaureate Diploma Programme (IB) is an education programme that genetically modifies its students to live without basic requirements and teaches the aesthetically pleasing art of Bullshit, through its ultimate arsenal of ToK, Extended Essay and CAS.
ToK is an extension of Language A1 class, where students are taught how to bullshit on for 10 pages about whether a pen is a pen or a pencil. The Extended Essay is a benchmark for a students' brainwashing stage. The instructions clearly states students choose a topic of their interest. Successful IB students should not have any interest by this stage. People who still have interest to write about will get an E, and therefore fail the IB. CAS is as close as students get to breathing fresh air and seeing flesh objects. In CAS, students donate their expendable blood, because its the least time consuming service they can offer without compromising study time. IB students also don't have time to make friends. Friends are ompetitors.
At the end of the 2 year IB course. Those who get above a 24 are successfully genetically modified, those who get below 24 do not fullfill the requirements and are obsolete.
ToK is an extension of Language A1 class, where students are taught how to bullshit on for 10 pages about whether a pen is a pen or a pencil. The Extended Essay is a benchmark for a students' brainwashing stage. The instructions clearly states students choose a topic of their interest. Successful IB students should not have any interest by this stage. People who still have interest to write about will get an E, and therefore fail the IB. CAS is as close as students get to breathing fresh air and seeing flesh objects. In CAS, students donate their expendable blood, because its the least time consuming service they can offer without compromising study time. IB students also don't have time to make friends. Friends are ompetitors.
At the end of the 2 year IB course. Those who get above a 24 are successfully genetically modified, those who get below 24 do not fullfill the requirements and are obsolete.
Nurse: You again? This must be the 5th time you'v come here to donate blood
IB student: Yes it is. I need 50 service hours for IB.
Nurse: You need time for your blood cells...
IB student: Women I don't have time! There are couple more IB students lined up outside all for the same good CAS cause. Please be understanding
Nurse: I simply cannot allow you to...
IB student: The 45th student, please don't let him donate blood. He pulled out my USB without safety removal and he took advantage of shared wireless network to download my EE as i was writing it.
Nurse: Your what?
IB Student: Oh, Extended Essay, its just 4000 words of bullshit, much of it borrowed from a thesaurus.
IB student: Yes it is. I need 50 service hours for IB.
Nurse: You need time for your blood cells...
IB student: Women I don't have time! There are couple more IB students lined up outside all for the same good CAS cause. Please be understanding
Nurse: I simply cannot allow you to...
IB student: The 45th student, please don't let him donate blood. He pulled out my USB without safety removal and he took advantage of shared wireless network to download my EE as i was writing it.
Nurse: Your what?
IB Student: Oh, Extended Essay, its just 4000 words of bullshit, much of it borrowed from a thesaurus.
by Loyal Utah Kid August 15, 2010