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Definitions by Lovell from UT

anaconda vortex 

An asshole where nothing bigger than a pea can ever be passed. The holy grail of anal sex. If you dare to enter, resulting in marks on one's johnson that look like severe rug burn.
Did you hear what Carl unleashed on George last night in the upstairs office? The full fury of the anaconda vortex was in effect!
anaconda vortex by Lovell from UT October 22, 2010
The piece of semi-fossilized pooh that hangs from your inner butt cheek & clings for hours on end with great fervor & tenacity leading to significant itching & burning until it's properly smeared out on your draws with the merciful aid of some duck butter.
I had to get a moroccan beltsander to get rid of that bchad.
bchad by Lovell from UT October 21, 2010

21 gun toilet salute 

The innate desire after dropping a turd of some substance to stand up and watch it pass as you flush - to admire it and pay your last respects as it were.
After stretching my sphincter to its Matrix-like limits, I had to given that turdzilla a proper 21 gun toilet salute.

shit shiver 

The shiver you get after dropping a deuce of substantial girth that tests the laws of physics. Like cold shiver but much more satisfying. In fact, very similar to a piss shiver, enjoyed after satisfying a tremendous need to drain your lizard.
Man, I hate dropping a deuce so enormous that it feels like giving birth & leads to rectal spasms. Hey, but at least I got to enjoy the inevitable shit shiver.
shit shiver by Lovell from UT September 2, 2010