Tariffied

The panicked, slightly sweaty urge to buy a car right now because someone said “tariffs” on the news. Usually triggered by the fear that prices are about to shoot through the roof thanks to new import taxes. Common side effects include impulsive test drives, intense stares at dealership ads, and saying “maybe we should just buy now” a lot.

"Bro, I wasn’t even thinking about a new car, but then I got tariffied and now I’m in a 5-series."