Larry Sanders's definitions

can of worms

Intended to be the logical follow-up to the popular can of fish (tuna, salmon, etc.), it has the distinction of being the worst new food invention of the 20th century.

"Tuna ... Salmon ... See there it is! I told you they still had a couple of cans of worms on the shelf!!"
"Damn, why is it so dusty and rusted?"

by Larry Sanders February 4, 2005

Shit Blister

A particularly noxious form of anal wart, caused by the painful excretion of a bristled, scaborous bowel movement.

Stan took a foam donut everywhere so he could take the pressure off his shit blister when he sat.

by Larry Sanders December 7, 2004