Kickolaus Nage's definitions

Kiss

A sign of genetic trust. Your body spends so much energy trying to keep unwanted microbes out, that for you to combine your oral environment with someone else’s is like two countries just opening borders and letting the populations mingle. The problem is, humans are not very selective about who they kiss. Have some alcohol, then add another human with symmetrical features and signifiers of youth and willingness to mate, and kissing will occur. Now the problem is not what most germaphobes fear- systemic illness, nay my friend, the problem is bacteria associated with periodontal disease and caries. Lets say you have a healthy mouth- you brush and floss daily, you keep the sugary drinks down- then you go to a party, get drunk, and make out with Mike the Man whore, Bam! Unbeknownst to you, Mike has generalized chronic moderate periodontitis and rampant decay. Your mouth is then flooded with bacteria associated with these conditions. These bacteria are highly virulent and greatly increase your risk of coming down with the same oral diseases. Oh, and your mouth will not “go back to normal” after a few days, Oh no my friend, these bacteria have been INTRODUCED! They are reproducing like crazy- setting up nice cozy homes in biofilms and gingival sulcuses! Because of your impulse to pass your genes on with what your primitive “ID” considers a good partner, you have allowed the equivalent of an ecological disaster to start in your mouth. Hope you know a good periodontist!

Bob: Last year my periodontal diagnosis was “healthy”. This year they told me I need monthly scaling and root planing.
Sally: Well, I did see you kiss that rando at the party.

by Kickolaus Nage October 13, 2021

Donald Trump

The manifestation, in human form, of the irrational fears of non-college educated white people in the early 21st century. These fears have to do with a demographic shift away from a white majority toward a more truly multi racial society. The fear and uncertainty this breeds- though having a small kernal of truth to it only in the sense that, yes, demographics are changing, are grossly and hysterically exaggerated by said white population. The core of this is clearly rooted in good old fashioned racism. As it is not culturally acceptable to admit to racism, the fear comes out as “Covid vaccines are a hoax”, “Mexicans are taking all the jobs”. and “Obama is a Muslim”- laughable, hilariously tissue- paper thin covers for what’s really going on.

1:Bob: The family that just moved in next door is slightly different than me in either appearance or cultural practice.
Sally: Donald Trump 2024

2:Bob: I’m not racist or anything, but Obama was a horrible president due to some small thing he did or didn’t do that has nothing to do with his race.
Sally: Ya, and Donald Trump was awesome despite all the lying, not doing his job, misuse of the office of president etc etc. But again let me emphasize WE’RE NOT RACIST- heaven forefend that someone might even imply for one second that we are even slightly racist!

by Kickolaus Nage October 13, 2021

Planetfall

The fourth iteration of the Age of Wonders video game series. The best 4X game ever made. Builds upon and improves the already great Endless Legends game. First, each planet is procedurally generated with climates, biomes, resources, landmarks, exploration sites, anomalies, hazards, and marauder spawners. There are eight playable races all with very asymmetrical units, doctrines, technologies and unit mods. Each race uses two weapon types each with their own tech tree. There are seven secret technologies that can be combined with any race, each with its own doctrines, units, unit mods, and doomsday weapons. There are six npc factions the player can ally or war with, each with its own recruitable group of doctrines, techs, mods, and five unit types. All on a beautiful detailed world map that makes Endless Legend maps look like a pile of hot garbage. There’s an empire mode with tons of unlocks and challenges. All of the above with random world event and a world invading alien race that can appear randomly to change the game.

Bob:Wow, you look like you haven’t slept in weeks!
Sally: Planetfall.

by Kickolaus Nage October 13, 2021