John Calvin Sargent Jr.'s definitions

The Campbell's Chunky Soup Surprise

When you're boning your beezey and you take a can of Campbell's Chunky Soup (the beefier, the better) and pour it into your lady friend's badge. Then you resume fucking her. Afterwards, you serve the soup to your family for dinner

(For an additional twist, wait till your lady is on her period and use Campbell's Tomato soup, while repeating the same steps)

Mom: "Wow, Steven, this soup is delicious!"

Steven: "You bet! Its the Campbell's Chunky Soup Surprise!!"

by John Calvin Sargent Jr. March 14, 2008

Danish Hysterectomy

When your woman is lying down on the bed, you tell her to close her eyes. You tell her that you are going to surprise her and you get her all hot and ready for some sweet lovin'...gigitty. Then when she isn't looking, you get out a Roman Candle with an extended fuse and lube it up nice and right so that it slips in smoothly and she doesn't notice it isn't you. Then you light the fuse and run away.

John: "Dude, your girlfriend is totally preggers! How you gonna act??"

Steven: "Dawg...its cool. I gave her a danish hysterectomy yesterday. Now let's go get fades."

by John Calvin Sargent Jr. March 14, 2008