14 definitions by Jim E. Junk

liquor store

A wonderful place that sells great liquor like Jack Daniels for instance. I used to live in a liquor store and would steal the sacred booze, but then I had too much Old Grandad and went streaking past the manager with a bottle in hand, a 3 ply roll of toilet paper wedged firmly in my anus with some flying out behind, "Spank it" written on my chest with sidewalk chalk, my hair in a Mr. T mohawk, and then I puked and slipped in it, and was pummelled viciously by a group of bikers. Then they discovered my home underneath the bathroom floor. Now I'm poor and live in a dumpster outside the liquor store, drinking the few drops of alchol filled goodness left in the emptys. Please, if you smell a fishy, rotting apples smell near a liquor store, pass me some. I'm so lonely....and sober.....

Normal people will go to Liquor Stores to buy hard booze (80 proof and up) and then will usually be sissys and drink it with a cola beverage. Drink it straight!
I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo high right now.................................... heeheehee(hiccup).....passs meee anotha 'un billy bob!

by Jim E. Junk April 19, 2006

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Ass fire

A rare but frightening incident that occurs when the friction of rough anal sex causes dingleberries to ignite and catch the recievers ass on fire. Has only happened when a little too much alcohol was involved and the giver had a little too much lead in his pencil.

I used to date this one hot girl, but then she got drunk at a party with Chuck Norris and a horrible ass fire resulted.

by Jim E. Junk May 17, 2006

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Good Luck With That

Phrase where you don't really care what happens, you're just glad it's not you who has to do the said person's task.

DUDE 1: My Mom wants me to go on a diet where I have to eat only lemons and cabbage and drink only prune juice.
DUDE 2: Good luck with that. (Thinking: Haha! Loser!)

by Jim E. Junk May 3, 2006

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Brick Layer

A person who takes a monstrous dump in a public bathroom and doesn't flush. Usually there is a posse of poopers like this (a Brick Layer's union) who will build an unflushable wall of turds. This is mainly done to offend people and piss them and the janitor off.

I was going to take a shit at the Dollar General crapper, but a bunch of brick layers had been there and clogged the toilet up. I admired their pile and wished I could lay such a brick but sadly, I haven't had a solid turd in years.

by Jim E. Junk April 23, 2006

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Floor Buffer

The best invention ever! Our High School had a whole fleet of floor buffers. I would hijack one and ride it around for hours and make the floor sparkly clean too! Then once a high speed chase took place and I overturned the buffer. Sadly, the buffer things were going at full speed and my scrotum never stood a chance. I really miss my 3 and a half testicles.

Always wear a seat belt when hijacking a floor buffer.

by Jim E. Junk May 15, 2006

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