Definitions by Jim E. Junk

Do farts have lumps? 

Question asked by an unfortunate individual who has just shit themself. Basically, they sharted. Treat this with good humour, but at a fair distance upwind of the individual.

DUDE 1 : Hey, lets go cropdust that fat guy outside Wal-Mart!
DUDE 2 : Okay!
DUDE 1 : (near fat guy) (silent fart) (thinks in head : OH YEAH! SNIFF THAT ASS CLOWN!)
DUDE 2 : (near fat guy) (BLOODY RIPPER) (thinks in head : Do farts have lumps?)
FAT GUY : You sick bastard!
HOT CHICK : That man is my hero! I want to screw madly with him in the bathroom stall!

Do farts have lumps? by Jim E. Junk May 1, 2006

the zoo 

Awesome song by the Scorpions.

Man, we was chillin' back with some buds, and then "The Zoo" came on the radio, and we was all like, "Yo, dis rocks man!"

the zoo by Jim E. Junk April 16, 2006

black dog 

Song by Led Zeppelin that rocks. However, it never once mentions "black dog". Probably named so because of the afore-mentioned definition. So I guess it makes you feel like that. Or because Robert Plant was on crack. That crazy bastard.

Led Zeppelin was cool. Black dog was cool too. I love your Mom.

black dog by Jim E. Junk April 16, 2006

Guy Like 

Pronounced "Gee like". This is a disturbing yet memorable quote from Guy LeDouche on MXC. Your name doesn't have to be Guy to say it, but it's funniest when said as GUY LIKE! instead of FRED LIKE! etc. In writing, a proper following statement to GUY LIKE! is AHAHAHAHAAA!!!!. Which is Guy's perverted laugh. The proper uses are :
1) After an idea, statement, or action you like has been proposed or said.
2) In a romantic situation, it can be considered playful.
3) When that skanky ugly bitch with the mole at the tavern is hitting on you again. Should be shouted as loud as possible with the word "not" inserted.

1) Dude 1: "Hey, let's go buy some cheap beer and some porn."
Dude 2: "GUY LIKE!"
2) Chick: "Hey, wanna have some fun big boy?"
Dude: "GUY LIKE!"
3) Skanky ugly bitch: "Hi Jim. You're a sexy beast! Wanna have a little fun tonight with just you, me, the mayor, Jerry, Bill, Hairy Sacks, Hugh G. Rection, The president, Warren Zevon, ZZ top, the Pope, the entire population of Denver Colorado and Donny Baker?"
Dude: "GUY NO LIKE!"

Guy Like by Jim E. Junk April 16, 2006

piercings

A way to be different. Piercings show individuality.

I got some piercings. Everybodys doing it!

piercings by Jim E. Junk April 16, 2006

porn rat

Someone who looks at alot of free porn pictures, copies and pastes the pictures, and then never goes back and looks at them. Instead they just look at more porn and repeat the process. Taken from Pack Rat.

"I'm a porn rat. I ran out of memory on my computer because I have 1,674 pictures of free porn that I never look at."

porn rat by Jim E. Junk March 24, 2006

I'll have you know that I was drunk 

Excuse for the most embarrasing acts one can do. Often ends with: at the time of the fight, mooning, streaking, gay orgy, party, chumba wumba dance, felching, belching, farting, public Defecation, vomiting, monkey licking, pole humping, and the list goes on and on. Sometimes said as: I'll have you know that me and: the monkey, sasquatch, your girlfriend, or monkey sasquatch girlfriend, were both drunk at the time. If you're a recovering alcoholic, don't use it after you beat the crap out of a liquor store owner.

I'll have you know that I was drunk at the time of the floor buffer incident.

I'll have you know that I was drunk by Jim E. Junk March 15, 2006