Definitions by Jim E. Junk

liquor store 

A wonderful place that sells great liquor like Jack Daniels for instance. I used to live in a liquor store and would steal the sacred booze, but then I had too much Old Grandad and went streaking past the manager with a bottle in hand, a 3 ply roll of toilet paper wedged firmly in my anus with some flying out behind, "Spank it" written on my chest with sidewalk chalk, my hair in a Mr. T mohawk, and then I puked and slipped in it, and was pummelled viciously by a group of bikers. Then they discovered my home underneath the bathroom floor. Now I'm poor and live in a dumpster outside the liquor store, drinking the few drops of alchol filled goodness left in the emptys. Please, if you smell a fishy, rotting apples smell near a liquor store, pass me some. I'm so lonely....and sober.....

Normal people will go to Liquor Stores to buy hard booze (80 proof and up) and then will usually be sissys and drink it with a cola beverage. Drink it straight!
I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo high right now.................................... heeheehee(hiccup).....passs meee anotha 'un billy bob!

liquor store by Jim E. Junk May 1, 2006

the zoo 

Awesome song by the Scorpions.

Man, we was chillin' back with some buds, and then "The Zoo" came on the radio, and we was all like, "Yo, dis rocks man!"

the zoo by Jim E. Junk April 16, 2006

black dog 

Song by Led Zeppelin that rocks. However, it never once mentions "black dog". Probably named so because of the afore-mentioned definition. So I guess it makes you feel like that. Or because Robert Plant was on crack. That crazy bastard.

Led Zeppelin was cool. Black dog was cool too. I love your Mom.

black dog by Jim E. Junk April 16, 2006

piercings

A way to be different. Piercings show individuality.

I got some piercings. Everybodys doing it!

piercings by Jim E. Junk April 16, 2006

Guy Like 

Pronounced "Gee like". This is a disturbing yet memorable quote from Guy LeDouche on MXC. Your name doesn't have to be Guy to say it, but it's funniest when said as GUY LIKE! instead of FRED LIKE! etc. In writing, a proper following statement to GUY LIKE! is AHAHAHAHAAA!!!!. Which is Guy's perverted laugh. The proper uses are :
1) After an idea, statement, or action you like has been proposed or said.
2) In a romantic situation, it can be considered playful.
3) When that skanky ugly bitch with the mole at the tavern is hitting on you again. Should be shouted as loud as possible with the word "not" inserted.

1) Dude 1: "Hey, let's go buy some cheap beer and some porn."
Dude 2: "GUY LIKE!"
2) Chick: "Hey, wanna have some fun big boy?"
Dude: "GUY LIKE!"
3) Skanky ugly bitch: "Hi Jim. You're a sexy beast! Wanna have a little fun tonight with just you, me, the mayor, Jerry, Bill, Hairy Sacks, Hugh G. Rection, The president, Warren Zevon, ZZ top, the Pope, the entire population of Denver Colorado and Donny Baker?"
Dude: "GUY NO LIKE!"

Guy Like by Jim E. Junk April 16, 2006

porn rat

Someone who looks at alot of free porn pictures, copies and pastes the pictures, and then never goes back and looks at them. Instead they just look at more porn and repeat the process. Taken from Pack Rat.

"I'm a porn rat. I ran out of memory on my computer because I have 1,674 pictures of free porn that I never look at."

porn rat by Jim E. Junk March 24, 2006

I'll have you know that I was drunk 

Excuse for the most embarrasing acts one can do. Often ends with: at the time of the fight, mooning, streaking, gay orgy, party, chumba wumba dance, felching, belching, farting, public Defecation, vomiting, monkey licking, pole humping, and the list goes on and on. Sometimes said as: I'll have you know that me and: the monkey, sasquatch, your girlfriend, or monkey sasquatch girlfriend, were both drunk at the time. If you're a recovering alcoholic, don't use it after you beat the crap out of a liquor store owner.

I'll have you know that I was drunk at the time of the floor buffer incident.

I'll have you know that I was drunk by Jim E. Junk March 15, 2006