Definitions by Jason L.

FWI 

Fucking While Intoxicated.

Getting drunk off your ass leads to lowered inhibitions... and sometimes, waking up next to an ugly beast in the morning.

John couldn't get a date, so he hung out in the bar and drank... and drank... and drank, and then left with the first person who said yes. When he went back to school on Monday morning, he was the laughing stock, and his classmates charged him with FWI.

FWI by Jason L. August 31, 2007

voided warranty 

This happens when a woman loses her virginity.

This allusion is derived from high-end electronic products, such as hard drives and 6th-generation-and-newer video game systems, where there is usually a seal which states that the manufacturer's warranty will be void if it's damaged or removed. The damage or absence of this seal will tell whether the product has been internally tampered with.

Likewise, a woman also has a seal, the hymen (which everyone usually calls the "cherry".) When a man plows through it with his meat missile, she's not a virgin any longer. The seal is broken, and her "warranty" is voided.

I heard the star quarterback took the head cheerleader out on a date this weekend... They parked down at "The Point", one thing led to another, and she got a voided warranty, if'n you know what I mean. But that's nothing compared to that geeky guy in the science club -- he managed to get laid here on campus, in the storage area! He's a LEGEND!

voided warranty by Jason L. August 18, 2007

dong water 

The result of a man taking a piss.

Derived from "bong water", the water used in a bong (obviously); and "Dog Water", one of the phony advertisements on "The Ren and Stimpy Show."

After a long night of drinking Rolling Rocks and playing video games nonstop, the Angry Nintendo Nerd had to reach for the pause button -- he desperately needed to let off a couple quarts of "dong water"...

dong water by Jason L. July 5, 2007

hairapy

A catchy portmanteau of "hair" and "therapy", used in advertising Sunsilk shampoos and conditioners. Unilever Brands, distributor of Sunsilk products, actually trademarked this word.

"Sunsilk. Get Hairapy!"

hairapy by Jason L. March 31, 2007

the call 

A telephone call received (usually) in the small hours of the morning, usually bearing bad news about a close friend or family member -- most of the time, either they have died, are near death, and/or were involved in a terrible accident.

You better hope you never get "the call"......

the call by Jason L. July 8, 2006

boob crusher 

The equipment used to perform mammograms. Some women have likened it to a tire running over their boobs, and having them squeezed into a box-shape thingy...

WOMAN: "It's that time of the year again... gotta go to the boob crusher..."

boob crusher by Jason L. December 28, 2005

NESkimos 

"Popo" and "Nana", from the early NES game "Ice Climber." Until they appeared in the Gamecube game "Super Smash Bros. Melee", no one knew who they were.

The NESkimos got their asses kicked off the mountain again... Dammit! *takes out the cartridge and chucks it across the room*

NESkimos by Jason L. December 28, 2005