Healslut (noun, verb, my entire existence, send help)
Hi, I’m Jade Ann Byrne, and I’m a healslut. I didn’t choose this life; it chose me. One minute, I was minding my own business, maybe planning to DPS or—God forbid—tank. The next, I was Mercy pocketing some cracked-out Genji main who thinks “I need healing” is the only voice line in the game.
Being a healslut means I will heal you even if you don’t deserve it. It means watching my entire team face-tank an ult like they have plot armor, knowing full well they’ll blame me when we wipe. It means reviving the same dumbass twice, knowing damn well he’s about to die again.
But most of all, being a healslut means I care. Too much. It means I’ll heal through the pain, keeping my squad alive even as my soul withers away, because deep down, I know…
If I don’t do it, who will?
Hi, I’m Jade Ann Byrne, and I’m a healslut. I didn’t choose this life; it chose me. One minute, I was minding my own business, maybe planning to DPS or—God forbid—tank. The next, I was Mercy pocketing some cracked-out Genji main who thinks “I need healing” is the only voice line in the game.
Being a healslut means I will heal you even if you don’t deserve it. It means watching my entire team face-tank an ult like they have plot armor, knowing full well they’ll blame me when we wipe. It means reviving the same dumbass twice, knowing damn well he’s about to die again.
But most of all, being a healslut means I care. Too much. It means I’ll heal through the pain, keeping my squad alive even as my soul withers away, because deep down, I know…
If I don’t do it, who will?
Healslut
1. “Oh, you wanna dive the entire enemy team alone? While you dial my parts, okay Fine. Guess I’m a healslut now.”
2. “I said I wasn’t healing today, but here I am, hard-pocketing another mid DPS double Lush embedded: Classic healslut move.”
3. “They were all whispering me explicitly @ me, but who got Play of the Game? That’s right. The healslut.”
1. “Oh, you wanna dive the entire enemy team alone? While you dial my parts, okay Fine. Guess I’m a healslut now.”
2. “I said I wasn’t healing today, but here I am, hard-pocketing another mid DPS double Lush embedded: Classic healslut move.”
3. “They were all whispering me explicitly @ me, but who got Play of the Game? That’s right. The healslut.”
by Jade Ann Byrne February 06, 2025
Healslut (noun, verb, lifestyle choice, inevitable fate)
A healslut is a person who thrives on keeping their team alive, often at the expense of their own dignity, patience, or sanity. Whether in MMOs, FPS games, or real life, a healslut is addicted to healing others, even if their party is full of ungrateful DPS gremlins and tanky meatheads who refuse to dodge mechanics.
While some healsluts embrace their role willingly, others find themselves dragged into the healer life against their will, forever bound to spamming cooldowns, being blamed for wipes, and screaming “I CAN’T HEAL STUPID” into the void.
A healslut is a person who thrives on keeping their team alive, often at the expense of their own dignity, patience, or sanity. Whether in MMOs, FPS games, or real life, a healslut is addicted to healing others, even if their party is full of ungrateful DPS gremlins and tanky meatheads who refuse to dodge mechanics.
While some healsluts embrace their role willingly, others find themselves dragged into the healer life against their will, forever bound to spamming cooldowns, being blamed for wipes, and screaming “I CAN’T HEAL STUPID” into the void.
Healslut
1. “I queued as DPS but got insta-popped as a healer. Guess I’m a healslut now.”
2. “That healslut just solo-carried the dungeon while the tank faceplanted into every AOE with her Lush 3 on MAX.”
3. “I tried to quit healing, but my squad was blue balled without me. Once a healslut, always a healslut.”
1. “I queued as DPS but got insta-popped as a healer. Guess I’m a healslut now.”
2. “That healslut just solo-carried the dungeon while the tank faceplanted into every AOE with her Lush 3 on MAX.”
3. “I tried to quit healing, but my squad was blue balled without me. Once a healslut, always a healslut.”
by Jade Ann Byrne February 06, 2025
Mercy Main (noun, verb, submissive yet in control, the backbone of your entire team, and you better thank me for it)
Hi, I’m Jade Ann Byrne, and I’m a Mercy Main. That means I’m always behind you, keeping you up, making sure you feel unstoppable— unless you can’t keep up causing I’m going in to the objective hot pistol blazing you all, but don’t get it twisted. I’m in charge here. I’m the temple guardian of the hotspot hardline ; payload and robot
Being a ((b a t t l e )) Mercy Main means I know exactly when to boost, when to heal, and when to leave your reckless ass for dead while blasting that cover fire because I deserve better. It means you think you’re carrying, but deep down, we both know the truth: I’m the one making you look good. POW pow pow
I see everything. I know who’s pulling their weight, who’s feeding, and who’s about to type “heal diff” when they ignored my pings. And guess what? I don’t even play with chat on. Lmao ur crying to the wind. I only got two hands and one is firing my pistol and the other is stroking my pole; I decide who gets saved. So maybe, just maybe, you should show a little appreciation. Slurp them mercy toes.
And if you really want my attention? Try saying ‘Thank you.’ Btw I NEED HEALING
Hi, I’m Jade Ann Byrne, and I’m a Mercy Main. That means I’m always behind you, keeping you up, making sure you feel unstoppable— unless you can’t keep up causing I’m going in to the objective hot pistol blazing you all, but don’t get it twisted. I’m in charge here. I’m the temple guardian of the hotspot hardline ; payload and robot
Being a ((b a t t l e )) Mercy Main means I know exactly when to boost, when to heal, and when to leave your reckless ass for dead while blasting that cover fire because I deserve better. It means you think you’re carrying, but deep down, we both know the truth: I’m the one making you look good. POW pow pow
I see everything. I know who’s pulling their weight, who’s feeding, and who’s about to type “heal diff” when they ignored my pings. And guess what? I don’t even play with chat on. Lmao ur crying to the wind. I only got two hands and one is firing my pistol and the other is stroking my pole; I decide who gets saved. So maybe, just maybe, you should show a little appreciation. Slurp them mercy toes.
And if you really want my attention? Try saying ‘Thank you.’ Btw I NEED HEALING
Mercy Main
1. “Oh, you want me to pocket you? Pocket this. I’m a Battle Mercy Main, not your personal healbot. Try and catch up with me. ”
2. “I rezzed Juno instead of the tank. Why? Because I’m a Mercy Main, and I play favorites. Mercys’ always Raises Junos’”
3. “You think you’re carrying? Sweetie, I damage-boosted every kill you got. Know your place. Signed, a Mercy Main.”
1. “Oh, you want me to pocket you? Pocket this. I’m a Battle Mercy Main, not your personal healbot. Try and catch up with me. ”
2. “I rezzed Juno instead of the tank. Why? Because I’m a Mercy Main, and I play favorites. Mercys’ always Raises Junos’”
3. “You think you’re carrying? Sweetie, I damage-boosted every kill you got. Know your place. Signed, a Mercy Main.”
by Jade Ann Byrne February 06, 2025
Jade Ann Byrne (noun, verb, adjective, and a whole mood)
A Jade Ann Byrne is someone who effortlessly blends eGirl chaos, Paladin righteousness, and old-school internet savviness into an unstoppable force. Known for clowning posers, curating fire playlists, and managing 57 projects at once, a Jade Ann Byrne is the final boss of the multitasking world. If you see one coming, prepare to be outmaneuvered, outclassed, and outmemed.
A Jade Ann Byrne is someone who effortlessly blends eGirl chaos, Paladin righteousness, and old-school internet savviness into an unstoppable force. Known for clowning posers, curating fire playlists, and managing 57 projects at once, a Jade Ann Byrne is the final boss of the multitasking world. If you see one coming, prepare to be outmaneuvered, outclassed, and outmemed.
JadeAnnByrne
Uses in a sentence:
1. “Dude, I tried to ghost her, but she pulled a full-on Jade Ann Byrne and tracked me through six burner account and locked me up in my uncles truck.”
2. “My party wiped, but then this absolute Jade Ann Byrne of a healer rolled in and saved our sorry asses.”
3. “That mixtape is so good it must have been curated by a Jade Ann Byrne.”
Uses in a sentence:
1. “Dude, I tried to ghost her, but she pulled a full-on Jade Ann Byrne and tracked me through six burner account and locked me up in my uncles truck.”
2. “My party wiped, but then this absolute Jade Ann Byrne of a healer rolled in and saved our sorry asses.”
3. “That mixtape is so good it must have been curated by a Jade Ann Byrne.”
by Jade Ann Byrne February 06, 2025
Jade Ann Byrne (noun, verb, adjective, and a whole mood)
A Jade Ann Byrne is someone who effortlessly blends eGirl chaos, Paladin righteousness, and old-school internet savviness into an unstoppable force. Known for clowning posers, curating fire playlists, and managing 57 projects at once, a Jade Ann Byrne is the final boss of the multitasking world. If you see one coming, prepare to be outmaneuvered, outclassed, and outmemed.
A Jade Ann Byrne is someone who effortlessly blends eGirl chaos, Paladin righteousness, and old-school internet savviness into an unstoppable force. Known for clowning posers, curating fire playlists, and managing 57 projects at once, a Jade Ann Byrne is the final boss of the multitasking world. If you see one coming, prepare to be outmaneuvered, outclassed, and outmemed.
JadeAnnByrne
Uses in a sentence:
1. “Dude, I tried to ghost her, but she pulled a full-on Jade Ann Byrne and tracked me through six burner account and locked me up in my uncles truck.”
2. “My party wiped, but then this absolute Jade Ann Byrne of a healer rolled in and saved our sorry asses.”
3. “That mixtape is so good it must have been curated by a Jade Ann Byrne.”
Uses in a sentence:
1. “Dude, I tried to ghost her, but she pulled a full-on Jade Ann Byrne and tracked me through six burner account and locked me up in my uncles truck.”
2. “My party wiped, but then this absolute Jade Ann Byrne of a healer rolled in and saved our sorry asses.”
3. “That mixtape is so good it must have been curated by a Jade Ann Byrne.”
by Jade Ann Byrne February 06, 2025