Definitions by JC Mathews

Read Colossians 

To go poop. Colossians is the shortest book in the Bible and can be read in 3-5 min—while going #2.

After three burritos and a side order of nachos, I snuck away from the family to go read Colossians.

Read Colossians by JC Mathews October 9, 2022

White Trash Russian 

A cocktail, popularized by comedy legend Doug Stanhope, consisting of plastic jug vodka and Yoo-Hoo.

Skip the Grey Goose, Charlie. We’re making White Trash Russians, and you won’t taste the difference.

White Trash Russian by JC Mathews May 23, 2021

Suburban vertigo 

Disorientation one experiences while traveling around residential and commercial zones in and around a city. Feeling lost while driving around a location for the first time.

I would have made it to the bar mitzvah sooner, but my goddamn suburban vertigo put me going West on Oak St when I thought I was going East.

Suburban vertigo by JC Mathews February 11, 2017